Snapping....

I've been getting stressed out a lot lately. I think I need some serious Me time. I'm starting to feel like everything is compounding, and I need to walk away for a bit.

Its 9 degrees in Blacklick Estates today. The pipes in the kitchen are frozen, and although they haven't busted, they make it a huge hassle to wash the dishes. The dishwasher feeds off of that line, so it's handwashing time. But since the pipes are both frozen, we have to bring water in from the bathtub to do anything. This is a Major hassle, and even though Sylvia is doing them today, just knowing that it's fucked up is enough to cause me to want to scream. We've been trying to thaw them for a day now, and no luck.

Also, the door to the basement is coming off of its hinges.

I have no money, and couldn't really afford groceries for the house last night, but if I have to rent at the business late in order to keep my kids fed, then so be it. The paperwork for my new job, that I've been working at for 3+ weeks now, just came in for me to submit in order to get paid. I may not get my first check til Feb 1st, and other revenue streams are completely dry. Right now, with the holidays having just passed, no one's beating down the door to the studio, so I'm not pulling in anything right now at all.

There would be some hope in knowing that my overage check would be here soon, as school starts on the 14th of January. They would have to have the check to me in time for me to buy my books....BUT, Columbus State's new policy fucks me on that one. They keep the money at the book store for the first two weeks, then disburse it to you after you've bought the books. They did this to fight people using school as a way to pay the bills, then not going to class. Ok, I'm falling in the "I need the school money to pay the bills" situation right now, and I understand where they are coming from, but this is REALLY fucking me right now.

My dad said he'd send me some money early for my Birthday, which is the 23rd, but it's probably not gonna be enough to cover things.

I'm on edge constantly, and I just feel like it's all against me. If I can get on top of it, I'll be ok. But it'll take me at least a month to get there. During that month, my resources will run completely dry, and I'll have to figure something out. I'm considering selling plasma again, which I haven't done since last time I was in College. I'm also looking for anything I can sell at the local pawn shop to keep something coming in.

I'm about ready to snap. Photography isn't helping me. Time alone isn't helping me. I think I need to just spend a day at the studio working on my own projects and de-stress. I'm gonna try that today, as I'm gonna work on The Metal Shop today as well as Project DIVIDE. I may even work on some of my solo music.

I just need a day away.