Friends.

They say that when everything falls apart, you learn who your real friends are. I learned those lessons over the last year, and I've been down some tough roads. As I sit here about to embark on the new chapter of my life, I pack away a house full of memories. I have a feeling this will be a bitter sweet month for me.

Yesterday, I was taking an afternoon walk. It was sunny and very humid. When I returned home, I was drenched in sweat, and I had a flash back to August of 2010. Sarah and I had just moved to the Marion house, and I had just started working at the Whirlpool factory in Marion. We decided to trust Olive out of her crate while we were both at work, and I'd often come home from my morning shift on the line to find Olive super excited to see me. I had to ride a bike home from the factory as I lacked a car at the time, so I was hot and sweaty. The air conditioner felt really good on those days. I'd often come home to find a mess that Olive had left, which led us to decide she needed to be in her crate while we were gone.

As I put the key in the front door yesterday to walk into my house, I honestly expected to see a room full of boxes and a mischievous dog running at me at full speed. I honestly expected to feel the cool chill of the air conditioner, and hear Olive whimpering at me.

I walked in, and there was no air conditioner. I haven't put it in yet this year. There was no mountain of boxes from the move from Colorado. They've been sorted out, divided up, and most of the possessions went with her when she left. There was no joyful greeting from Olive, as Olive moved out too and passed away this year.

I was greeted to a live room where there was once a living room, a drum set that wasn't there before, and a bitchy cat whose attitude level increased exponentially when everyone else and everything else moved out. It struck me then how different everything really is. I've said before that nothing is the same, and that's not an exaggeration in any way.

It makes one reflect on everything. It makes one see clearly in hindsight how the things that went wrong would've been bad if other things hadn't already happened, but since they had it brought everything to a near collapse for me (physically and emotionally).

It makes one wonder how in the hell they got through it. There's no way I would've without friends. There's no way. Period.

So this blog is for them. There are some people I want to thank for being there when I needed it. In my dark times, you put up with my shit and extended a hand to help me.

Jesse, for giving me a place to stay when I had none.
Froe, for being a good friend and a good distraction.
Rachel Villa, for being a good friend and a good distraction.
Caroline King, for giving me an outlet to vent, and helping me refurnish my home.
Dad, for being a source of support when I needed it.
Uncle Rick and Aunt Cheryl, for keeping me afloat in my darkest times, and for helping make my new path possible.
Tracy, for being a place to turn
Josh, for giving me an outlet

There are two more much deserved thank you's, but I'm holding them off for a moment.

The above names prove that the notion of the self made man is bullshit. There's no such thing. Anyone who succeeds in life rely's on a million factors and a million hands that they held along the way. I want to be able to make it in life, and without the people above and the people below, I wouldn't be able to make it after everything that broke down for me. Never take your friends or loved ones for granted.

So I want to thank Sarah. The one who left me with nothing, removing the cornerstone of my life that allowed it to come to a near collapse. Without you doing what you had to do for yourself, I may never have forced myself to fight. I may never have grown up, I may never have been able to learn to depend on myself, and I was reminded that no matter how bad things may get I will ultimately be ok.

Which brings me to the most important person I want to thank.

Laura, my love, you've seen me in my darkest times and stood by me. You've gone through hell and back with me, and our bond is stronger because of it. We've already survived a lot, and I feel we're better for it. I'm sorry for everything, but I am eternally grateful that I didn't lose you to my foolishness caused by my trials. I'm so grateful that you are by my side, for better or worse. I'm so glad that we're fighting for each other. I'm so glad that we're fighting for your daughters. I'm so glad that you've given me a family. I'm so glad that I can spend the rest of my life with someone as amazing as you. There's nothing else I could ever want if I have you in my life, and I owe you till the day I die for being in my life. I love you more than you could ever know. Thank you.