I'm getting a steady paycheck once again! It's a great feeling knowing that I'll be able to easily keep my bills paid and get my 5 year plan back on solid financial footing. It was a scary ride, quite stressful, and some things fell away during it all. But that was 2012. This is 2013. I'm working hard to make 2013 my bitch.
Now that I've received a little bit of pay, I'm trying to focus on getting my bills paid back down. When I started 2012, I had just paid off a credit card and only had one left. I left the paid off card open so I'd have an emergency credit line, and used that to replace a vital piece of studio gear in the spring. My finances weren't stable enough to justify that cost, and a $500 purchase turned into a $700 credit card bill that was $200 over limit. The account was closed by the bank to prevent it from growing any higher, and I was given a $15-month payment plan to pay it off. It'd take me 4 years at that minimum, but that's all I've been able to do for a few months now.
But now that I've got steady income again, it's time to get all of that out of the way. I'm actually excited right now! 2012 was full of bad habits that I was forced into in one way or another. For example, with the studio only breaking even and other ventures not getting any returns yet, I found myself forced to wait til the absolute last minute to pay my phone bill. Just as I was about to get the money to pay it, it would get disconnected, and I'd get a $50 fee for that month. This happened almost monthly, I swear I think AT&T is psychic and knew what day to cut me so they could get the fee that month.
Today, I paid it before it got cut off! Today, it all turns around! I've still got a mountain to climb, but the expedition team was gathered when I got the new day job. The last month was spent preparing for the climb, and today we started off toward base camp #1.
It's just a shame that things went the way they did with some of my plans last year. Feelings were hurt, friendships damaged, and I doubt that'll ever be able to mend. I just wish those affected understood why things have been so hard for me and why I did the things i did. I'm not trying to play the victim here, but the only one walking in my shoes was me. The only one who sees it the way I do was me. They see it from their perspective, and that's the way it goes. Nothing I can do about it.
So now that I've taken the steps necessary to reclaim my financial future, let's outline some of the challenges directly ahead. I've got rent to pay at Skyline Sound Studios, and a damaged car to diagnose and repair. I'm going to need to budget very very very carefully, and file my tax return asap, if I'm gonna get over this hurdle quickly. But the beautiful thing is that once I get over it in the next couple of months, things still won't be easy but they will be easier than they are now by quite a big margin.
Regarding budgeting very very very carefully, that's tough. I've got a little sum of money right now to apply to my expenses, and there's a compulsion in me to start paying down certain liabilities with it right now since I know I have it. But that's not realistic, as I have to ensure those car repairs and that rent for the studio are paid for. Then I have to pay for certain business related expenses that are owed to other parties. It's not going to be easy, it's going to be very very very tight. But I have to refrain from spending money unless not doing so will cost me more money.
The general reason for this particular blog entry is the fact that the expedition has left once again for the mountain top. I'm excited as hell about that! It's been way too tight for way too long, and it's about time something changed. But the universal factor in all of that was me. It wasn't changing because I was thinking too short term in some respects. I took a chance, but didn't calculate all of the risks of that chance. I paid for that miscalculation, and fortunately it didn't do enough damage to completely de-rail me. But that's the learning curve in business (and no, I'm not referring to the damaged friendships I mentioned above, for a certain someone who is likely reading this). It's about calculated risk, and I miscalculated. It was tough, and I'm rebounding. Time to take the lessons learned from my failures in ALL aspects last year and apply them to a more successful and profitable 2013!
2013...yeah, I'm hittin' that!
Showing posts with label Achieving Financial Independance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Achieving Financial Independance. Show all posts
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Friday, January 4, 2013
Why saving money isn't a good idea for everyone.
As kids, we're taught to save. As teens, we're taught to spend. As young adults, we're taught to use credit. And if you're like me, by your 30's you've got interest bearing debts and no savings.
If you're like me, and wanting to get out of that situation, your first thought might be to start saving money. If you had no interest bearing debts, this would be a FANTASTIC idea! But, if you're like me, you've got two maxed out credit cards and a car payment. With all of those lines of credit, someone like me would be commiting a slow financial death if they started putting money away in savings!
Let me explain!
Let's just say for example purposes that my credit cards are both maxed out at $700 each. We'll give them an interest rate of 17%. The minimum payment we'll say is $17.50. It would take you 77 months to pay off just one of these cards, and you'd pay approximately $475 in interest. That's over 2/3 of the balance you borrowed, JUST IN INTEREST!
We can apply the same logic to the car payment, which is also an interest bearing loan. When you look at it this way, you begin to see that keeping these debts around is just like throwing money away. So why would you put money into a savings account that earns less than 1% for you when you're paying 17% on several loans?
The ultimate goal is to start saving. But before you can get out of a hole, you have to stop digging. It makes more sense for someone like me to pay off the high interest debts first, that way over time I'm paying less in interest and can put back even more in savings!
Stop wasting money by saving money! Pay down interest bearing debts as soon as possible. Figure out what loan is costing you the most money in interest. Put as much of your available resources to that as you can until it's paid off. Then, take the amount you were paying on the debt you just paid off, and pay it on the next one in line! This is called Snowballing, and by snowballing your debts you can knock them out quickly, once and for all!
Once your interest bearing debts are paid, now it's time to start saving! Take the whole amount that you were spending each paycheck on debts and put it into a savings of some sort! For me, that would equal $200-each month! After a full year, I've saved $2400!
Knowing that in a year I can save $2400 tells me that I can pay off $2400 of debt in that same year. Make it happen, and build a better life! Pay yourself, not the bank!
If you're like me, and wanting to get out of that situation, your first thought might be to start saving money. If you had no interest bearing debts, this would be a FANTASTIC idea! But, if you're like me, you've got two maxed out credit cards and a car payment. With all of those lines of credit, someone like me would be commiting a slow financial death if they started putting money away in savings!
Let me explain!
Let's just say for example purposes that my credit cards are both maxed out at $700 each. We'll give them an interest rate of 17%. The minimum payment we'll say is $17.50. It would take you 77 months to pay off just one of these cards, and you'd pay approximately $475 in interest. That's over 2/3 of the balance you borrowed, JUST IN INTEREST!
We can apply the same logic to the car payment, which is also an interest bearing loan. When you look at it this way, you begin to see that keeping these debts around is just like throwing money away. So why would you put money into a savings account that earns less than 1% for you when you're paying 17% on several loans?
The ultimate goal is to start saving. But before you can get out of a hole, you have to stop digging. It makes more sense for someone like me to pay off the high interest debts first, that way over time I'm paying less in interest and can put back even more in savings!
Stop wasting money by saving money! Pay down interest bearing debts as soon as possible. Figure out what loan is costing you the most money in interest. Put as much of your available resources to that as you can until it's paid off. Then, take the amount you were paying on the debt you just paid off, and pay it on the next one in line! This is called Snowballing, and by snowballing your debts you can knock them out quickly, once and for all!
Once your interest bearing debts are paid, now it's time to start saving! Take the whole amount that you were spending each paycheck on debts and put it into a savings of some sort! For me, that would equal $200-each month! After a full year, I've saved $2400!
Knowing that in a year I can save $2400 tells me that I can pay off $2400 of debt in that same year. Make it happen, and build a better life! Pay yourself, not the bank!
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Yes We Can! Avoiding my own fiscal cliff...
Since part of my goals for 2013 included a better financial footing, I went over finances this morning with Laura. It turns out that if we had too, we'd be able to survive on one single income this year. With that in mind, there's no reason why we can't turn ourselves around by 2014 with two incomes!
I'm pretty excited about this! This is an ace in the hole, and acknowledgement that we're on the right track.
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
January 2nd, 2013. Setting Goals, and Resetting Phase 1.
On August 29th, 2011, I posted "5 Year Plan: Phase 1 - Stability And Forward Motion."
Since then, my life has changed in so many ways, but now I find myself needing to get back on track with my 5 year goal. I've got just under 4 years left to achieve it. I'm broke as a joke, and even though some things in my life are far more stable, my biggest struggles right now are financial. It's time to get back on track and restart from Phase 1. So let's retune it for my life now.
Stability.
Ok, well at the time that I wrote the original Phase 1 post, my life was very unstable. I was on the verge of homelessness, and was clawing out of that situation tooth and nail. My living situation is far more stable now, and I'm not relying on my income alone to keep myself bathed and fed. But the problem is that I'm not contributing, and am not furthering my family's financial future in the state I'm in now. It's time to fight again for some financial stability.
I've already got things in place, including school, a 30 hour per week day job, and new revenue streams in development. My student loans will pay my tuition, which will help me gain an education. But they will also give me a decent overage to park in the bank for emergencies, or to pay down debts. Sure, this money is a liability since it'll be a debt that needs repaying later, but it'll be at a far lower interest rate than I'm currently paying on my debts. So it's a smart move to displace a higher interest liability with a lower interest one. These include my car, and a couple of credit cards. I had paid all but one credit card off last year, but my income lost it's stability just after that and I wound up maxing out the one I had paid off and never touching the one I didn't pay off. Now they are both closed accounts, and I've made an arrangement to pay down one of them. The other is in collections. Getting rid of these soul sucking liabilities once and for all is a major goal for this new year.
My car is another. I still owe money on it, even though I shouldn't, but I made poor choices about financing it in order to appease a previous relationship, and am paying the price now. One those credit cards are gone once and for all, it's time to snowball that car loan and get it out of the picture once and for all. My goal is to have the car and all credit cards paid off by years end. Once that is done, I can establish a savings again. Also, 2014 can be focused on cleaning up the nasty trail of unpaid debts I left around the country through my 20's.
I turn 32 in a few weeks. I pledged at 30 that I would be in better shape at 35. I'm running out of time.
Notice that I don't mention my family's needs. Well, I want to get married to Laura asap. The problem is that we've pledged not to get married until we're on better financial ground. This doesn't mean that we'll wait till I've built up a large savings or anything ridiculous like that. Rather it means that we need to be able to pay our bills together. There are certain details that I won't go into, but know that the above steps of eliminating liabilities is a key factor in that financial stability.
Right now, as stated in a pervious blog post, I'm in a tough spot financially. The next few weeks will be likely a 3x-day Ramen diet for me. Not fun, but I will do what I have to do. But in February, things will look a lot more stable. I just have to weather this month and then I can focus on digging out of this hole.
Phase 1 is officially back in action.
Since then, my life has changed in so many ways, but now I find myself needing to get back on track with my 5 year goal. I've got just under 4 years left to achieve it. I'm broke as a joke, and even though some things in my life are far more stable, my biggest struggles right now are financial. It's time to get back on track and restart from Phase 1. So let's retune it for my life now.
Stability.
Ok, well at the time that I wrote the original Phase 1 post, my life was very unstable. I was on the verge of homelessness, and was clawing out of that situation tooth and nail. My living situation is far more stable now, and I'm not relying on my income alone to keep myself bathed and fed. But the problem is that I'm not contributing, and am not furthering my family's financial future in the state I'm in now. It's time to fight again for some financial stability.
I've already got things in place, including school, a 30 hour per week day job, and new revenue streams in development. My student loans will pay my tuition, which will help me gain an education. But they will also give me a decent overage to park in the bank for emergencies, or to pay down debts. Sure, this money is a liability since it'll be a debt that needs repaying later, but it'll be at a far lower interest rate than I'm currently paying on my debts. So it's a smart move to displace a higher interest liability with a lower interest one. These include my car, and a couple of credit cards. I had paid all but one credit card off last year, but my income lost it's stability just after that and I wound up maxing out the one I had paid off and never touching the one I didn't pay off. Now they are both closed accounts, and I've made an arrangement to pay down one of them. The other is in collections. Getting rid of these soul sucking liabilities once and for all is a major goal for this new year.
My car is another. I still owe money on it, even though I shouldn't, but I made poor choices about financing it in order to appease a previous relationship, and am paying the price now. One those credit cards are gone once and for all, it's time to snowball that car loan and get it out of the picture once and for all. My goal is to have the car and all credit cards paid off by years end. Once that is done, I can establish a savings again. Also, 2014 can be focused on cleaning up the nasty trail of unpaid debts I left around the country through my 20's.
I turn 32 in a few weeks. I pledged at 30 that I would be in better shape at 35. I'm running out of time.
Notice that I don't mention my family's needs. Well, I want to get married to Laura asap. The problem is that we've pledged not to get married until we're on better financial ground. This doesn't mean that we'll wait till I've built up a large savings or anything ridiculous like that. Rather it means that we need to be able to pay our bills together. There are certain details that I won't go into, but know that the above steps of eliminating liabilities is a key factor in that financial stability.
Right now, as stated in a pervious blog post, I'm in a tough spot financially. The next few weeks will be likely a 3x-day Ramen diet for me. Not fun, but I will do what I have to do. But in February, things will look a lot more stable. I just have to weather this month and then I can focus on digging out of this hole.
Phase 1 is officially back in action.
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Boiling Point
Money makes the world go round, but it also is a great divider. It also can show a person's true character and willingness to understand your plight, and it can be a major point of contention and stress.
That's what I learned tenfold in recent weeks.
With studio revenues down to the point where I wasn't even breaking even, and other income sources running dry, I found myself faced with a lot of stress and anxiety. I found myself forced to make a decision. I blogged about that decision, which was to find a day job. I'm now working as a Medicare PDP provider for a teen who has autism, and it will pay almost the same as the job I left in February 2012.
I also re-signed up for classes. I don't want to live on student loans, but I can't lie and say that there isn't a financial reason I'm in school right now. Realizing it's debt that will have to be paid back later, I'm willing to take that in order to get a cushion that will help me stay afloat now. It's a gamble, and I don't like to gamble, but while I'm gambling I'm also gaining an education. I'm investing in myself. The major factor in this isn't money, but it is a vip in this game.
Bottom line is this. I've been broke my whole life. I tried to turn it around a year ago, and was on the path to doing just that. I had a savings, and was paying down credit cards. But 2012 has been a financial disaster for me. Unfortunately some didn't want to see that, and partnerships broke up because I couldn't be in a relationship where my time wasn't respected and I was expected to constantly work for the promise of "maybe we'll make a lot of money down the road"…when my kids are needing food now, getting paid down the road isn't a bet I'm willing to wager anymore. Writing was on the wall, it was clear that priorities were no longer aligned. Tensions were rising. I'm getting out.
Meanwhile, even though 2012 seemed to have a lot of promise as the summer came around and the new studio location opened, it became clear very soon that I didn't have enough clients to sustain it and I've been struggling just to pay the rent for a few months now. Business is business, and I'm working on turning it around, but when I can't contribute any of my income to pay the bills at home and feed the kids because I'm trying to keep this business afloat, it's clear that something has to change NOW.
Business is risk. I choose to take risks because I can see the potential payout later. However, I'm only willing to take calculated risks with low overhead and high return on investment. Sure, that's smart, but never a sure thing. Meanwhile, every business venture I've attempted this year has taken me down the road to the poor house while demanding tons of time away from my family and forcing me to stress to no end about how I'm going to pay for it all.
So I devised a business that would be completely online and have a very low overhead with a high profit margin. This business would have my daughters initials in the name, to remind me of what I was fighting for, and would be in place as a way to ensure their future in uncertain financial times. I'm still developing this business, and even though I don't know how to make it what I want it to be just yet, I know how to make it work and bring it to market. That's one thing I've fought with all year. I can't fine tune and tweak endlessly without bringing the product to market, because I can't afford to put that much time into that. However, when it was brought up that I was putting my time into this new venture, that was evidently the straw that broke the camel's back for the partnership I referenced above.
So here we are. I'm broke. In in that long period where I'm waiting way too long for my first paycheck from the new day job, which will be very small, while watching my available capitol dry up around me days before major bills are due (rent, ect). I'm also having services shut off.
Enough.
This cycle has to end.
So what can I do differently? Not really much right now, other than keep plugging and trying to get this new business operational before classes start in a few weeks. That's my window. I have to get this new site up and running by then, or the amount of time I'll have to focus on web development will be a lot more constricted. The business is designed to be easy to run with minimal effort, which would work out well for a guy like me (running a studio while working a 30 hour-week day job and taking 12 credit hours of classes and raising two teens who have autism…). Essentially I focus on marketing, do some minor file maintenance and billing, and then collect money. With a social media model rather than an advertising model, the advertising budget is minimal. This leads to high profit margins, and an overhead that is so low you can't limbo under it. I can run this business from anywhere that I have an internet connection, so I can take it with me on vacation as long as I have my iPhone.
But the business isn't live. So I'm caught in another struggle of putting time into something that hasn't paid me a dime yet. The difference this time is, no one is here to argue that it can't go live until it reaches a certain arbitrary point, and no one is here to set that arbitrary point so high that it's impossible to sustain with no returns on the investment. I'm in this alone, with guidance from others, but the decisions are ultimately mine. I'm in charge of my own destiny here, and no one can dip their fingers in the bowl and fowl up the original vision. So this one makes me happy to put time into, because I can see this one having a potentially high return with unlimited growth!
Besides, I'm doing this one for my daughters. They'll need lifelong care (thanks autism), and I can't provide that on promises and unemployment. They are my number one priority in life now, and every move I make is to give them a better life.
But even at home there is frustration. While in training to be a PDP provider, they tell all new providers to ensure that we have adequate down time. It can be very frustrating to assist someone with special needs, and you can't take that out on them, but if you don't give yourself down time from it to relax and recover, you'll get burnt out quick.
I've been on my job for a week now in the home, and then coming home all week to my daughters. Where is my downtime? Just as I try to find some, a money issue or a weather issue throws a wrench in my plans and I have to postpone my recovery yet again. Then there are people who are constantly hounding me about things, or changing their plans, and further complicating my life. Yeah, I signed up for it, but that doesn't mean it won't have it's consequences on my health. I'm tense today, and can't pull out of it. I'm not making enough money, my daughters are acting up and becoming defiant little teenage firecrackers (atta-girls!), my new day job has had a lot of unpredictability in it's schedule thanks to the holiday break and illness in the family, people are getting pissed at me left and right and acting like I'm letting them down (while failing to see just how hard I'm fighting)…
I've reached a boiling point. I've also reached a new level of thinking. My first priority is, and always will be, to ensure the future of my children. Second will be to ensure the longevity of my future marriage to Laura. My own needs and wants will come third, but before business I have to ensure my own sanity. Running a business can make you insane, and raising children who have autism doesn't exactly relieve stress. With as much as I've been forced to pack on to keep it together (whatever the FUCK that means), I can't be an efficient business man if I'm not taking care of myself. So my needs as a person come third.
Part of those needs include my own future. Owning a business isn't a guarantee of success, and while others got mad when I'd point out the unlikely odds against us, I choose to live in the real world and understand that just because I make it doesn't mean they'll come. So if all of those business endeavors fall through, I've got my education to help me find new opportunities to survive and thrive.
Part of those needs also include downtime. I find solace in photography, and in downtime with Laura. Those things I'll always have to make time for. So…
1. Kids.
2. Laura.
3. School / Personal Downtime.
4. Everything and everyone else. No exceptions. Period.
That's what I learned tenfold in recent weeks.
With studio revenues down to the point where I wasn't even breaking even, and other income sources running dry, I found myself faced with a lot of stress and anxiety. I found myself forced to make a decision. I blogged about that decision, which was to find a day job. I'm now working as a Medicare PDP provider for a teen who has autism, and it will pay almost the same as the job I left in February 2012.
I also re-signed up for classes. I don't want to live on student loans, but I can't lie and say that there isn't a financial reason I'm in school right now. Realizing it's debt that will have to be paid back later, I'm willing to take that in order to get a cushion that will help me stay afloat now. It's a gamble, and I don't like to gamble, but while I'm gambling I'm also gaining an education. I'm investing in myself. The major factor in this isn't money, but it is a vip in this game.
Bottom line is this. I've been broke my whole life. I tried to turn it around a year ago, and was on the path to doing just that. I had a savings, and was paying down credit cards. But 2012 has been a financial disaster for me. Unfortunately some didn't want to see that, and partnerships broke up because I couldn't be in a relationship where my time wasn't respected and I was expected to constantly work for the promise of "maybe we'll make a lot of money down the road"…when my kids are needing food now, getting paid down the road isn't a bet I'm willing to wager anymore. Writing was on the wall, it was clear that priorities were no longer aligned. Tensions were rising. I'm getting out.
Meanwhile, even though 2012 seemed to have a lot of promise as the summer came around and the new studio location opened, it became clear very soon that I didn't have enough clients to sustain it and I've been struggling just to pay the rent for a few months now. Business is business, and I'm working on turning it around, but when I can't contribute any of my income to pay the bills at home and feed the kids because I'm trying to keep this business afloat, it's clear that something has to change NOW.
Business is risk. I choose to take risks because I can see the potential payout later. However, I'm only willing to take calculated risks with low overhead and high return on investment. Sure, that's smart, but never a sure thing. Meanwhile, every business venture I've attempted this year has taken me down the road to the poor house while demanding tons of time away from my family and forcing me to stress to no end about how I'm going to pay for it all.
So I devised a business that would be completely online and have a very low overhead with a high profit margin. This business would have my daughters initials in the name, to remind me of what I was fighting for, and would be in place as a way to ensure their future in uncertain financial times. I'm still developing this business, and even though I don't know how to make it what I want it to be just yet, I know how to make it work and bring it to market. That's one thing I've fought with all year. I can't fine tune and tweak endlessly without bringing the product to market, because I can't afford to put that much time into that. However, when it was brought up that I was putting my time into this new venture, that was evidently the straw that broke the camel's back for the partnership I referenced above.
So here we are. I'm broke. In in that long period where I'm waiting way too long for my first paycheck from the new day job, which will be very small, while watching my available capitol dry up around me days before major bills are due (rent, ect). I'm also having services shut off.
Enough.
This cycle has to end.
So what can I do differently? Not really much right now, other than keep plugging and trying to get this new business operational before classes start in a few weeks. That's my window. I have to get this new site up and running by then, or the amount of time I'll have to focus on web development will be a lot more constricted. The business is designed to be easy to run with minimal effort, which would work out well for a guy like me (running a studio while working a 30 hour-week day job and taking 12 credit hours of classes and raising two teens who have autism…). Essentially I focus on marketing, do some minor file maintenance and billing, and then collect money. With a social media model rather than an advertising model, the advertising budget is minimal. This leads to high profit margins, and an overhead that is so low you can't limbo under it. I can run this business from anywhere that I have an internet connection, so I can take it with me on vacation as long as I have my iPhone.
But the business isn't live. So I'm caught in another struggle of putting time into something that hasn't paid me a dime yet. The difference this time is, no one is here to argue that it can't go live until it reaches a certain arbitrary point, and no one is here to set that arbitrary point so high that it's impossible to sustain with no returns on the investment. I'm in this alone, with guidance from others, but the decisions are ultimately mine. I'm in charge of my own destiny here, and no one can dip their fingers in the bowl and fowl up the original vision. So this one makes me happy to put time into, because I can see this one having a potentially high return with unlimited growth!
Besides, I'm doing this one for my daughters. They'll need lifelong care (thanks autism), and I can't provide that on promises and unemployment. They are my number one priority in life now, and every move I make is to give them a better life.
But even at home there is frustration. While in training to be a PDP provider, they tell all new providers to ensure that we have adequate down time. It can be very frustrating to assist someone with special needs, and you can't take that out on them, but if you don't give yourself down time from it to relax and recover, you'll get burnt out quick.
I've been on my job for a week now in the home, and then coming home all week to my daughters. Where is my downtime? Just as I try to find some, a money issue or a weather issue throws a wrench in my plans and I have to postpone my recovery yet again. Then there are people who are constantly hounding me about things, or changing their plans, and further complicating my life. Yeah, I signed up for it, but that doesn't mean it won't have it's consequences on my health. I'm tense today, and can't pull out of it. I'm not making enough money, my daughters are acting up and becoming defiant little teenage firecrackers (atta-girls!), my new day job has had a lot of unpredictability in it's schedule thanks to the holiday break and illness in the family, people are getting pissed at me left and right and acting like I'm letting them down (while failing to see just how hard I'm fighting)…
I've reached a boiling point. I've also reached a new level of thinking. My first priority is, and always will be, to ensure the future of my children. Second will be to ensure the longevity of my future marriage to Laura. My own needs and wants will come third, but before business I have to ensure my own sanity. Running a business can make you insane, and raising children who have autism doesn't exactly relieve stress. With as much as I've been forced to pack on to keep it together (whatever the FUCK that means), I can't be an efficient business man if I'm not taking care of myself. So my needs as a person come third.
Part of those needs include my own future. Owning a business isn't a guarantee of success, and while others got mad when I'd point out the unlikely odds against us, I choose to live in the real world and understand that just because I make it doesn't mean they'll come. So if all of those business endeavors fall through, I've got my education to help me find new opportunities to survive and thrive.
Part of those needs also include downtime. I find solace in photography, and in downtime with Laura. Those things I'll always have to make time for. So…
1. Kids.
2. Laura.
3. School / Personal Downtime.
4. Everything and everyone else. No exceptions. Period.
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Renew and review
I think I'm coming to a head with a few things in my life. Financially, mentally, physically…
The studio is a great asset, but let's be honest. It's not paying the bills. It has been barely breaking even, and now that revenues are down 25% it's practically not even doing that. So if I can't break even, I can' t profit. If I can't profit, I can't put food on the table at home. I'm working a job that, while tons of fun, is getting me nowhere in life. It's not advancing me or my family, and my family has to eat. So I've been working on a few other things to try to spur revenues and keep the bills paid.
1 - I got a job. I start next week at my first day job since I lost my call center job in February. It's time to face facts, this ship isn't sailing. It's merely treading water. Meanwhile, I've got a hold to dig out of. The first thing you do when you find yourself in a hole is stop digging.
This will be a temporary situation, but it will be a rewarding one. I'll be providing respite care for a family who has children with autism.
2 - I've also re-enrolled in school. This time, I'm going not for business or marketing. I'm going to re-sharpen my production skills. I'm getting work in this field, I wanna sharpen the skills I'm already using. I start in January, as long as my financial aid comes through, and I'll be taking classes on campus rather than online this time. After all, online classes were so easy to let go that when life got tough I let them fall to the wayside. Time to start fresh and go to campus.
3 - I'm starting a new business. CLMastering will offer audio mastering worldwide. Unlike the studio, where I'm paid per hour of my work (and therefore has limited growth opportunity because there are only so many hours in a day), CLMastering has unlimited growth potential and will cater to a worldwide market. More on that to come, but I hope to be active by February or March.
The bottom line is that I've seen the writing on the wall. My family needs me to bring it home, and if the studio isn't catching on it's time to focus on what will. I'll keep the studio open, and I'll hope it grows, but my back is against a wall. If something isn't serving my family, it needs to be lowered in priority. Period. I'll never achieve my 5 year plan if I don't turn things around NOW.
So the next few weeks will bring a lot of changes. Let's just hope they are for the best.
The studio is a great asset, but let's be honest. It's not paying the bills. It has been barely breaking even, and now that revenues are down 25% it's practically not even doing that. So if I can't break even, I can' t profit. If I can't profit, I can't put food on the table at home. I'm working a job that, while tons of fun, is getting me nowhere in life. It's not advancing me or my family, and my family has to eat. So I've been working on a few other things to try to spur revenues and keep the bills paid.
1 - I got a job. I start next week at my first day job since I lost my call center job in February. It's time to face facts, this ship isn't sailing. It's merely treading water. Meanwhile, I've got a hold to dig out of. The first thing you do when you find yourself in a hole is stop digging.
This will be a temporary situation, but it will be a rewarding one. I'll be providing respite care for a family who has children with autism.
2 - I've also re-enrolled in school. This time, I'm going not for business or marketing. I'm going to re-sharpen my production skills. I'm getting work in this field, I wanna sharpen the skills I'm already using. I start in January, as long as my financial aid comes through, and I'll be taking classes on campus rather than online this time. After all, online classes were so easy to let go that when life got tough I let them fall to the wayside. Time to start fresh and go to campus.
3 - I'm starting a new business. CLMastering will offer audio mastering worldwide. Unlike the studio, where I'm paid per hour of my work (and therefore has limited growth opportunity because there are only so many hours in a day), CLMastering has unlimited growth potential and will cater to a worldwide market. More on that to come, but I hope to be active by February or March.
The bottom line is that I've seen the writing on the wall. My family needs me to bring it home, and if the studio isn't catching on it's time to focus on what will. I'll keep the studio open, and I'll hope it grows, but my back is against a wall. If something isn't serving my family, it needs to be lowered in priority. Period. I'll never achieve my 5 year plan if I don't turn things around NOW.
So the next few weeks will bring a lot of changes. Let's just hope they are for the best.
Friday, September 21, 2012
Stress
The new studio has been up and running in Grove City for almost 3 months now. I've had several great rock bands, as well as hip hop artists, and a little bit of R&B come through my door. It's been fun.
But it's also slowing down a bit. So I'm looking into some new opportunities while things are slow, but those are hard to find in Central Ohio. I've decided to shift focus toward business audio for now, while ramping up significantly my marketing efforts by showing more of a presence in the local music scene.
Compounding things is the fact that a well established studio who had been closed for a few years is re-opening in the building literally right behind me. This has me concerned about people's perception of me and my operation, and I'm stressing out over every detail of my products overall quality level. I HAVE to be every bit as good as this guy, who can out-gear me any day of the week. Despite my fervent belief that gear doesn't make records, if you take two engineers who have good ears the client will probably choose the one with the gear.
So I've got to shift my product focus onto me, the engineer, and the value that I alone bring to the table. In order for me to be competitive in this dried up music market (hey, it's not Nashville or LA people), I have to do some PR work and increase the value of working with ME. The recording is the product overall, but what makes people come to me has to be the ME factor.
So I'm trying to improve my product in every way possible. I've been working on a mix that I recorded in the studio back in July as a tester for the new studio. I gave it to this band for free, and am now using the tracks I recorded to pull out all the stops. I've since found weaknesses in my room I've had to adapt to, which I've been able to overcome on a temporary basis. I've also found weaknesses in my workflow that I've been working to overcome thanks to the help of several of my engineer friends around the country.
But all of this has me second guessing the smallest of decisions in my mixes. I feel like I'm hitting a wall psychologically, and will have to climb over that to get back to full confidence.
Couple that with a recent head cold that clogged up my ears, which I'm only today finally recovering from, and you can see why I'm a bit stressed. Each day that goes by that I don't release this spectacular mix to the public, the neighboring studio gets closer to opening. But bouncing mixes off of several engineers while taking ear breaks for head colds takes valuable time. So I'm trying to offset that time by going to shows and networking.
I started going to shows again last weekend. I went to a show hosted by a friend of mine who runs Audiology Sound Studios, a neighboring studio. It was a charity show for his Music Is Life foundation. The line-up of the show consisted of at least one client, Bleeding Ink, as well as a large group of other artists who I was able to network with. Many of these artists I'd never seen live before, and some I'd never even heard of before. It was a great chance to network, but only one won't do it. I need a regular presence in this local scene if people are going to think of me. I need to talk to them about what I do, and I need to act fast. This will probably have to be an every-weekend venture for me. After all, you can't stop hunting, or else you'll starve.
Meanwhile, I'll be setting up a conference call with a business associate in Colorado at Swanpro Studios to go over some ways that I can get into the post audio market. Post audio production is more lucrative with more consistent work, and that is exactly what I need to make my 5 year goal a reality. At this point, I have 4.25 years to go. That's starting to not seem like a long time.
So I've got a long way to go, and a lot of work to do to get there. But now that I'm a family man, and I have two beautiful daughters counting on me, I can't rest on my laurels anymore. I must fight for my career for the sake of my family, and I need to do what it takes to psych myself up and get motivated.
In an odd way, I've turned to survival shows on Netflix as a source of motivation. Seeing people taking every measure necessary JUST to SURVIVE makes me feel blessed to have things as easy as I do, and makes me realize that the only hurdle to what I want in life is myself. It makes me realize that failure isn't so bad, because things could always be a lot worse. Even if I were homeless, it makes me realize that I'd be ok because I could find a way to make it. So that relieves some of my stress, while motivating me to continue forward toward my goals.
But it's not always easy getting over my own self-consciousness to find the motivation on the other side. I'm always worried about disappointing Laura, whom I would give my life for, and feel major guilt that I'm unable to be a better provider at this moment. But seeing her struggle so hard for our family motivates me 10 times more than anything else when I stop and think about it. She's given me everything she can, every part of her. Now it's time for me to take that and use it for the betterment of our whole family.
So to any competition that comes my way, you'd better look out. There's nothing more fearful than a determined underdog.
But it's also slowing down a bit. So I'm looking into some new opportunities while things are slow, but those are hard to find in Central Ohio. I've decided to shift focus toward business audio for now, while ramping up significantly my marketing efforts by showing more of a presence in the local music scene.
Compounding things is the fact that a well established studio who had been closed for a few years is re-opening in the building literally right behind me. This has me concerned about people's perception of me and my operation, and I'm stressing out over every detail of my products overall quality level. I HAVE to be every bit as good as this guy, who can out-gear me any day of the week. Despite my fervent belief that gear doesn't make records, if you take two engineers who have good ears the client will probably choose the one with the gear.
So I've got to shift my product focus onto me, the engineer, and the value that I alone bring to the table. In order for me to be competitive in this dried up music market (hey, it's not Nashville or LA people), I have to do some PR work and increase the value of working with ME. The recording is the product overall, but what makes people come to me has to be the ME factor.
So I'm trying to improve my product in every way possible. I've been working on a mix that I recorded in the studio back in July as a tester for the new studio. I gave it to this band for free, and am now using the tracks I recorded to pull out all the stops. I've since found weaknesses in my room I've had to adapt to, which I've been able to overcome on a temporary basis. I've also found weaknesses in my workflow that I've been working to overcome thanks to the help of several of my engineer friends around the country.
But all of this has me second guessing the smallest of decisions in my mixes. I feel like I'm hitting a wall psychologically, and will have to climb over that to get back to full confidence.
Couple that with a recent head cold that clogged up my ears, which I'm only today finally recovering from, and you can see why I'm a bit stressed. Each day that goes by that I don't release this spectacular mix to the public, the neighboring studio gets closer to opening. But bouncing mixes off of several engineers while taking ear breaks for head colds takes valuable time. So I'm trying to offset that time by going to shows and networking.
I started going to shows again last weekend. I went to a show hosted by a friend of mine who runs Audiology Sound Studios, a neighboring studio. It was a charity show for his Music Is Life foundation. The line-up of the show consisted of at least one client, Bleeding Ink, as well as a large group of other artists who I was able to network with. Many of these artists I'd never seen live before, and some I'd never even heard of before. It was a great chance to network, but only one won't do it. I need a regular presence in this local scene if people are going to think of me. I need to talk to them about what I do, and I need to act fast. This will probably have to be an every-weekend venture for me. After all, you can't stop hunting, or else you'll starve.
Meanwhile, I'll be setting up a conference call with a business associate in Colorado at Swanpro Studios to go over some ways that I can get into the post audio market. Post audio production is more lucrative with more consistent work, and that is exactly what I need to make my 5 year goal a reality. At this point, I have 4.25 years to go. That's starting to not seem like a long time.
So I've got a long way to go, and a lot of work to do to get there. But now that I'm a family man, and I have two beautiful daughters counting on me, I can't rest on my laurels anymore. I must fight for my career for the sake of my family, and I need to do what it takes to psych myself up and get motivated.
In an odd way, I've turned to survival shows on Netflix as a source of motivation. Seeing people taking every measure necessary JUST to SURVIVE makes me feel blessed to have things as easy as I do, and makes me realize that the only hurdle to what I want in life is myself. It makes me realize that failure isn't so bad, because things could always be a lot worse. Even if I were homeless, it makes me realize that I'd be ok because I could find a way to make it. So that relieves some of my stress, while motivating me to continue forward toward my goals.
But it's not always easy getting over my own self-consciousness to find the motivation on the other side. I'm always worried about disappointing Laura, whom I would give my life for, and feel major guilt that I'm unable to be a better provider at this moment. But seeing her struggle so hard for our family motivates me 10 times more than anything else when I stop and think about it. She's given me everything she can, every part of her. Now it's time for me to take that and use it for the betterment of our whole family.
So to any competition that comes my way, you'd better look out. There's nothing more fearful than a determined underdog.
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Revisiting Phase 1
After my job loss, thanks to steps I had taken in Phases 1 and 2, I was able to stay afloat for a few months. Thanks to Laura, Phase 3 has now come to fruition and I've made it out of Marion once and for all. But now, thanks in part to all the life changes over the last 4 months and also to my own laziness, I've slacked off in school. If I haven't flunked out completely, it's time to completely rededicate myself to my education. Taking online classes was a good idea for my previous situation, but I had too many things going on at once to stay focused. Now that the proverbial fat has been trimmed, I've got more time to focus on my education. I'm going to talk to Columbus State to see if I can keep at it and start taking classes on campus this fall. I've got to call them, explain the challenges that I had to face before that are now out of the way, and explain my dedication to trying again. Hopefully, they'll see that I'm not just some pimplefaced teen who was being lazy, and will let me continue.
The thing is that now is the time to invest in myself. I'm taking the leap to make the studio a full time operation. That's an investment in my own career. I should also invest in my education to make my life better in the long term. Aside from having financial aid as a fall back in my personal savings, it's a good idea because of the long term benefits that can come from an education. I know that, for most people, an education no longer guarantees you a job. However, as an entrepreneur, I'm picking up that torch for myself anyway. If I fail, it's my fault. My education should be focused on skills that will help me stay competitive in my chosen field, so I'm going to continue the marketing courses. But I may change my major entirely and focus it more along sharpening my media production skills. The marketing stuff is pretty boring, especially when taken online. I think if I take classes on campus, it'll be easier for me to retain the information. I'm a visual learner, not a book learner. My distance from campus impeded my ability to reasonably make it to class. Now that I'm in Columbus, hopefully it'll be much easier.
So fingers crossed that I can continue the goal of a higher education this fall. I'm taking the summer off, and will focus on building the business. But come hell or high water, I will find a way to be in the classroom in September.
The thing is that now is the time to invest in myself. I'm taking the leap to make the studio a full time operation. That's an investment in my own career. I should also invest in my education to make my life better in the long term. Aside from having financial aid as a fall back in my personal savings, it's a good idea because of the long term benefits that can come from an education. I know that, for most people, an education no longer guarantees you a job. However, as an entrepreneur, I'm picking up that torch for myself anyway. If I fail, it's my fault. My education should be focused on skills that will help me stay competitive in my chosen field, so I'm going to continue the marketing courses. But I may change my major entirely and focus it more along sharpening my media production skills. The marketing stuff is pretty boring, especially when taken online. I think if I take classes on campus, it'll be easier for me to retain the information. I'm a visual learner, not a book learner. My distance from campus impeded my ability to reasonably make it to class. Now that I'm in Columbus, hopefully it'll be much easier.
So fingers crossed that I can continue the goal of a higher education this fall. I'm taking the summer off, and will focus on building the business. But come hell or high water, I will find a way to be in the classroom in September.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Phase 3 revisited - Getting the HELL out of Marion!
I wrote about Phase 3 of my life's reconstruction on February 1st. Later that day, I got laid off, and Phase 3 was put on hold. But now, thanks to a loving fiance and ambitions of building a better life for both of us, Phase 3 is back in action!
Phase 3 - Get the HELL out of Marion!
I've grown increasingly frustrated at how much being left in this town has held me back. I didn't' wanna move here, but was told that we should because someone else thought it would be easier on them. That person left me here to make things easier on them, and didn't give me any reasonable options for getting out of here. I've struggled with being stuck here since then, and grew kinda desperate at times. But now it seems that I have been given an olive branch.
Laura's mission is to get me out of Marion by August. That may come sooner than that, in all likelihood, as my unemployment ends in less than 2 weeks and I'll not be able to pay rent once the money I have saved is exhausted. It's hard enough getting clients to drive to Marion from Columbus, and Marion just doesn't have a music scene that's able to sustain my business. So with little business coming to Marion, and money reserves drying up, it's time to make some serious changes.
It's go time.
So here's the plan. Laura and I have decided to move in together. The studio would be minimized to a mobile operation while I'm getting set up in a new location, but the goal is to rent a location and set up shop there. This would ideally be a warehouse, but it could also be a home in the Columbus area. I've found some warehouses on the east side of Columbus for roughly the same money I'm paying to rent my current space in Marion. Regardless of it's new setting, it wouldn't be ideal to set up in the home Laura and I will soon share. But the good thing is that having my own dedicated space means that the studio would be a more professional environment. It would be it's own space, and it would make it easier to keep my home life and my work life separate
The living situation would work well too. I could work part time to fund the new studio's location, while being left with enough to pay the shared bills. The bills would be a lot cheaper combined than they are solo, and it just makes sense. I've already proposed, she said yes. There's no reason not to move in with her.
I feel rather humbled knowing that my fiance is in this to help me succeed. It's an amazing feeling knowing that someone is looking out for me, and I hope I can return the favor one day. So things are looking up, and there's some positive changes coming to my life over the summer of 2012. This will be my year, and I'm excited.
I've grown increasingly frustrated at how much being left in this town has held me back. I didn't' wanna move here, but was told that we should because someone else thought it would be easier on them. That person left me here to make things easier on them, and didn't give me any reasonable options for getting out of here. I've struggled with being stuck here since then, and grew kinda desperate at times. But now it seems that I have been given an olive branch.
Laura's mission is to get me out of Marion by August. That may come sooner than that, in all likelihood, as my unemployment ends in less than 2 weeks and I'll not be able to pay rent once the money I have saved is exhausted. It's hard enough getting clients to drive to Marion from Columbus, and Marion just doesn't have a music scene that's able to sustain my business. So with little business coming to Marion, and money reserves drying up, it's time to make some serious changes.
It's go time.
So here's the plan. Laura and I have decided to move in together. The studio would be minimized to a mobile operation while I'm getting set up in a new location, but the goal is to rent a location and set up shop there. This would ideally be a warehouse, but it could also be a home in the Columbus area. I've found some warehouses on the east side of Columbus for roughly the same money I'm paying to rent my current space in Marion. Regardless of it's new setting, it wouldn't be ideal to set up in the home Laura and I will soon share. But the good thing is that having my own dedicated space means that the studio would be a more professional environment. It would be it's own space, and it would make it easier to keep my home life and my work life separate
The living situation would work well too. I could work part time to fund the new studio's location, while being left with enough to pay the shared bills. The bills would be a lot cheaper combined than they are solo, and it just makes sense. I've already proposed, she said yes. There's no reason not to move in with her.
I feel rather humbled knowing that my fiance is in this to help me succeed. It's an amazing feeling knowing that someone is looking out for me, and I hope I can return the favor one day. So things are looking up, and there's some positive changes coming to my life over the summer of 2012. This will be my year, and I'm excited.
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Becoming a father.
I've had people tell me in the past that there was no reason I shouldn't be making $60,000 per year. I've been told I've got the skills needed to land a great job by people I would like to think were unbiased. I fear that the circumstances I was born into, coupled with the fact that I have had no idea where to look for such work, have led me to be what I am. Technically I'm unemployed, and I don't have much to my name. I'm skating by on unemployment, and trying to peruse an education so that I can better myself.
For whatever reason I've made my mind up that the life for me is as a self made man, being self employed and completely self reliant. This may be one of the attributes that others saw in me that caused them to believe I should be earning more than a deli workers salary, or that of a call center operator. But considering that most entrepreneurs are generally broke for the first two years of their entrepreneurial endeavor, it's not hard to see me not being on very solid financial ground at this exact moment.
And for a while, the hope and dream that I'd someday be able to live the easy life making enough money to live very comfortably was enough to pacify me. I had a goal, I set a date, and I've been working to make that happen.
But recently, the perceptions changed. I'm going to be a father, and although the children won't have a single strand of my DNA, they will be reliant on whatever income Laura and I can earn. Factor in that both of my daughters have autism, and you see that I've got a lot to provide for. This isn't about me, and this isn't about wanting to live life on a permanent vacation. This is now about Lotus and Celest, my teenage twin daughters who will need lifelong care. This is about ensuring that they are taken care of far beyond my own expiration date, which I hope will be a long time away.
This is about giving my daughters the best life I can give them, at all costs.
I'm about to ramp up my efforts to bring revenues in to the studio, but I know that may not be enough before the money I'm living off of runs dry. I'm going to have to consider that the last two months of living this way may have to come to an end very soon as I am faced with the prospect of needing to find another job.
Meanwhile, I'm hesitant to give in. Sure, finding a job wouldn't be a defeat. It would just be a temporary means to an end, and would help ensure that I could continue where I left off two months ago with getting myself out of debt and building a better net worth for myself and my family. But even if I find another job, and I thrive at that, who says that's a defeat? It may mean I'm not as available as I am right this moment to bring someone into the studio to put down tracks, but it won't mean I'm closing up shop. It may mean that I'll be able to keep a roof over my head while I focus more on the studio on the side, all he while establishing a foundation for a better life for my family.
I don't want to take this road just yet, but I've got to examine the very real possibility that I'll have to do this very soon.
So here I sit right now, doing homework. Accounting homework, when you're 31, is just as boring as it would've been to me at 18. Factor in the adult ADHD and Facebook, and it's tough to keep focused. After all, right now I'm blogging instead of studying, and I have a test tomorrow…..lol.
But something happened today that's strengthening my resolve to fight. I'm actually proud that I've been able to focus, and one thing is getting me through it. My family.
Laura sent me a video today of Celest asking to to go the Aquarium. We're planning to go to the Newport Aquarium tomorrow, and it'll be Celest's first visit there. She found out a few days ago that we were going, and has been begging to go ever since.
Laura today stated to me that this year would be my first ever fathers day as a father.
Here I sit, with an indescribable feeling of joy inside, thinking about my new family and how much I love them. I'm also thinking about how much I want for them, which pushes me back to working. And when I start to get distracted by my ADHD, I look at a picture of my daughters that I took a few weeks ago. It keeps me moving.
Right now, I'm fighting for my family. I have some tough decisions ahead that may be very necessary, but also worth it. After all, now I've got a family to think about.
So back to work I go. Time to fight for my family.
For whatever reason I've made my mind up that the life for me is as a self made man, being self employed and completely self reliant. This may be one of the attributes that others saw in me that caused them to believe I should be earning more than a deli workers salary, or that of a call center operator. But considering that most entrepreneurs are generally broke for the first two years of their entrepreneurial endeavor, it's not hard to see me not being on very solid financial ground at this exact moment.
And for a while, the hope and dream that I'd someday be able to live the easy life making enough money to live very comfortably was enough to pacify me. I had a goal, I set a date, and I've been working to make that happen.
But recently, the perceptions changed. I'm going to be a father, and although the children won't have a single strand of my DNA, they will be reliant on whatever income Laura and I can earn. Factor in that both of my daughters have autism, and you see that I've got a lot to provide for. This isn't about me, and this isn't about wanting to live life on a permanent vacation. This is now about Lotus and Celest, my teenage twin daughters who will need lifelong care. This is about ensuring that they are taken care of far beyond my own expiration date, which I hope will be a long time away.
This is about giving my daughters the best life I can give them, at all costs.
I'm about to ramp up my efforts to bring revenues in to the studio, but I know that may not be enough before the money I'm living off of runs dry. I'm going to have to consider that the last two months of living this way may have to come to an end very soon as I am faced with the prospect of needing to find another job.
Meanwhile, I'm hesitant to give in. Sure, finding a job wouldn't be a defeat. It would just be a temporary means to an end, and would help ensure that I could continue where I left off two months ago with getting myself out of debt and building a better net worth for myself and my family. But even if I find another job, and I thrive at that, who says that's a defeat? It may mean I'm not as available as I am right this moment to bring someone into the studio to put down tracks, but it won't mean I'm closing up shop. It may mean that I'll be able to keep a roof over my head while I focus more on the studio on the side, all he while establishing a foundation for a better life for my family.
I don't want to take this road just yet, but I've got to examine the very real possibility that I'll have to do this very soon.
So here I sit right now, doing homework. Accounting homework, when you're 31, is just as boring as it would've been to me at 18. Factor in the adult ADHD and Facebook, and it's tough to keep focused. After all, right now I'm blogging instead of studying, and I have a test tomorrow…..lol.
But something happened today that's strengthening my resolve to fight. I'm actually proud that I've been able to focus, and one thing is getting me through it. My family.
Laura sent me a video today of Celest asking to to go the Aquarium. We're planning to go to the Newport Aquarium tomorrow, and it'll be Celest's first visit there. She found out a few days ago that we were going, and has been begging to go ever since.
Laura today stated to me that this year would be my first ever fathers day as a father.
Here I sit, with an indescribable feeling of joy inside, thinking about my new family and how much I love them. I'm also thinking about how much I want for them, which pushes me back to working. And when I start to get distracted by my ADHD, I look at a picture of my daughters that I took a few weeks ago. It keeps me moving.
Right now, I'm fighting for my family. I have some tough decisions ahead that may be very necessary, but also worth it. After all, now I've got a family to think about.
So back to work I go. Time to fight for my family.
Friday, April 6, 2012
What needs to change.
Ok, I'm examining what I need to do in order to pull off the monumental tasks ahead of me in life. Let's look at the immediate needs, specifically for the studio.
By December 31st, 2017, the aim is to have carved out a place at the top of the list in Central Ohio for Skyline Sound Studios. I'm aiming for the top, and plan to make it a self sustaining enterprise. Self sustaining, meaning that I'll have set it up to generate money on it's own while I sit back and collect a share of the profits.
In order to get to this….
….from this….
….I've got a long way to go. This means that I need clients asap. In order to get those clients, I need to sharpen my sales skills. This is only dawning on me now with a clear focus, even though it would've seemed to have been obvious. I knew I needed more business, but for some reason it's only now dawning on me that I need to focus my sales approach.
So I'm gonna look into some podcasts about sales, and try to make more of a presence for myself at shows in Columbus. I'm thinking tomorrow night one might find me on campus spreading business cards and getting chatty with musicians. We'll see.
Wish me luck.
By December 31st, 2017, the aim is to have carved out a place at the top of the list in Central Ohio for Skyline Sound Studios. I'm aiming for the top, and plan to make it a self sustaining enterprise. Self sustaining, meaning that I'll have set it up to generate money on it's own while I sit back and collect a share of the profits.
In order to get to this….
….from this….
….I've got a long way to go. This means that I need clients asap. In order to get those clients, I need to sharpen my sales skills. This is only dawning on me now with a clear focus, even though it would've seemed to have been obvious. I knew I needed more business, but for some reason it's only now dawning on me that I need to focus my sales approach.
So I'm gonna look into some podcasts about sales, and try to make more of a presence for myself at shows in Columbus. I'm thinking tomorrow night one might find me on campus spreading business cards and getting chatty with musicians. We'll see.
Wish me luck.
Friday, March 23, 2012
Life, worries, and why it's worth it.
There's a lot I feel the need to say in this blog. It could be more like a mini-novel. Just a warning.
My last blog indicated that there were big things that happened in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. That's right, and it's good news. On our trip back from Atlanta, we went to see the Smokies. I found a secluded place we could pull off and have to ourselves, which had a lot of stunning mountain views. I then took Laura down to a spot out of sight of the road.
It was there that I proposed. She said yes!
Let's explain what had happened. You see, ever since my cancer scare last October, I began examining my life and what I wanted out of it in a very in depth way. I decided that I couldn't live my life without Laura, and that led me to examine what I wanted out of our relationship. There were a lot of heavy things I had to consider, including her two children with special needs. I mean, if I wanted her in my life forever, would I be able to step in and care for two special needs teenagers when I never wanted to kids to begin with?
I knew after last October's cancer scare what was in my heart. But my head wanted me to be absolutely sure, which is why I started trying to be a presence in the girl's lives. After all, if I were to take that plunge, I'd then be responsible for them. After some soul searching, I realized that I had the desire to make it work out. I began to make efforts to spend some time here and there with the girls to get to know them. Celest now asks to go to my house, despite the fact that it's a 60 mile drive, because she loves my electronic drum set. Lotus seems to enjoy it as well, but not nearly as much as Celest. I've grown to love both of them, and want nothing but the best for them. Part of me wishes that I were in a better financial state at 31 years old, so that I could be better equipped to take care of them. Suffice it to say, I realized that I could lay it all on the line for Lotus and Celest, and that they are a part of the woman that I love.
Once I was absolutely sure, the plan was to take Laura to Colorado in June. We even set a date for the trip. Knowing what I was planning, I started dropping hints to myself in my blog so that I could look back on it fondly and point out to her where I had foreshadowed my proposal ("I'll just say this. It's going to be a trip that won't be forgotten."). I was going to buy a ring and pay for our vacation, all with my tax return, while continuing to dig myself out of the financial hole with my day job pay.
My plan was to get Laura to fall in love with the Rockies by driving her to all the wonderful sights I knew of. These included at least two national parks (Great Sand Dunes NP and Rocky Mountain NP at minimum), a drive through the San Luis Valley that makes my heart sing so much, and a drive up to the summit of Mount Evans. As much as I was feeling a need to be in the mountains again all the way to the bottom of my soul, I felt it only fitting that when I tell Laura how I really felt deep down, that it be in an area that meant something to me. If I were with the woman that I loved in the place that I loved, all would be right with the world for that moment and my proposal would mean more to me. So the plan was to ask her to marry me on the summit of Mount Evans.
But that plan was derailed when I was laid off on February 1st. I no longer knew whether or not I would be able to afford the trip, let alone rent. Not knowing that I'll be able to afford my Colorado trip in June really broke my heart, especially since I was planning something of this magnitude to take place during that trip. But in many ways, I feel that my job loss was a blessing. That, however, is a different blog post.
Laura and I had planned a trip to Atlanta during spring break after I went to Atlanta to visit family last Thanksgiving. I took a trip through the Great Smoky Mountains NP on my way back to Ohio on that trip, and fell in love with that park. Though it wasn't the same as being in Colorado, it was close enough to provide solace to my yearning for a mountainous landscape. When I feel the call, it's only 7 hours away. We planned this trip before I lost my job, but since I realized that I was going to be ok financially thanks to steps I took after my last job loss, we made the trip. I mean, it would cost about 3.5 tanks of gas, and room and board were provided by family. It's a quick, easy, cheap way to get away.
I had tossed around the idea of proposing to Laura on the trip to Atlanta while in the Smokies. After all, I couldn't' guarantee that I could make it to Colorado like I had hoped. How long was I going to wait? The urge to pop the question kept brewing up in me, and I almost asked on several occasions where the moment seemed right. But I held off, cause I'm a bit girly at times and didn't want to let go of my mountain proposal. But I really was fighting with myself deciding whether to compromise for the Smokies, or wait for a trip that may not happen this year.
About two weeks ago, I had an epiphany that made my decision clear. We don't have very long on this earth. It was one of those moments that really makes that fact hit you to the core, even though you already are aware of that fact. Nothing happened to trigger it, rather it was a sudden random realization. We don't have long on this planet, and all the money and material bullshit is just bullshit. The important things in life are who you spend it with and that you grab what you want now instead of waiting. There may not be a tomorrow, so get it now and value it. So that's what I decided to do. I would propose in the Smokies.
Saturday morning in Atlanta, before Laura and I went to Stone Mountain, my aunt is cutting my hair and starts asking me about Laura. She asks if I'm happy, then asks if I'm gonna propose. When I answered yes, this was like the first acknowledgement of this fact to anyone in person. I'd had chats with a friend in Indiana (thanks Kyle) about it, but this was my first vocalization of it to another person. This made it more real, but it didn't change my mind. It was a good acknowledgment to make to myself, and cemented my goal of doing it on that trip.
My aunt freaked out, and started getting really girly. When I told Cheryl that I didn't have a ring to give Laura, she whisked me up to her jewelry collection and started looking for a ring to give me as an heirloom. She then found a sneaky way of getting Laura's ring size, which luckily was really close to her own size. So Cheryl found a ring, cleaned it, and put it in a box. I hid it in my laundry, then my aunt and uncle prayed for a long healthy marriage.
When Laura and I took off for Stone Mountain, Cheryl made reservations at a nice, albeit expensive, Italian restaurant. She insisted that they break their rule of not reserving specific tables because she wanted to get us this nice corner table with a view. I think it was named ""Tuscany", and was only a few miles from their home in Woodstock Georgia. Cheryl was hoping I'd propose at the restaurant in front of her, which was out of the question because I wanted it to be a more personal intimate proposal, but this is why Cheryl went through all the trouble to get the perfect table and make a nice evening for us. I appreciate it, and it was a great gesture, it just wasn't how I wanted to do it.
That night, I couldn't sleep. Something Rick had said while praying for our union stuck in my head, and made me briefly re-examine. He prayed that I'd have the strength to be a father to her children. This brought up my fear of not being able to provide for them, and made me question whether it was the right time. But as I lie there next to her, I'd look at her and those fears were put to rest. I would find a way to make it work…..because it's worth it.
So after only 5 hours of sleep, I wake up at 5 am and start packing to leave for the Smokies. By 6:30, we were in the car and on our way. By almost 10 am, we were in the park. This was a big deal to me on another level because this was Laura's first trip to a national park. I wanted it to really impress. We entered on the North Carolina side near Cherokee. Not far into the park, we found a visitor center with memorabilia and park rangers. I bought a couple of shirts for Laura's kids, then bought a magnet from the park to commemorate the trip. I had a collection of magnets from parks that I'd visited previously in my last relationship, but she took them when she moved out. Laura and I decided to start our own collection to commemorate our travels to the parks. So we bought our first national park magnet, which is now on my fridge.
While in the park, we also bought National Park Passports that we can have stamped as we "collect" our parks together. They are kept in my car, and have a date stamp for the date we went to our first park together.
We found out that due to the unusually warm winter, they opened the lookout on Clingman's dome early for the season. That very day was the first day it was open for the season, though it normally is closed till April 1st. So we embarked on our trip up the park road. As we started climbing through the switchbacks looking at mountain vistas and feeling in awe of the landscapes that surrounded me, I could feel that it was right. I was gonna do it, and nothing was gonna stop me. So I found a pull off with an amazing panorama. Fortunately it was early in the day so there weren't many tourists on the park service road, and the pull off I found was empty other than our car.
I remembered this spot specifically because this was the only place in the park I could get reception on my phone. I called Laura from this spot on my last trip through the park last November to tell her how much i wished she were there because it was so amazingly beautiful. I actually thought to myself last November that this spot would make a great place for the proposal if Colorado doesn't work out for some reason.
And 4 months later, I have Laura in that spot. I take her by the hand, and lead her down a little path into the foliage. We were alone, even if someone pulled into the parking lot above. It was here that I let it out.
I had rehearsed this about 50 times in my head, but when it came down to THE moment, my brain stopped wanting to work. So I stuck with the cliffnotes. lol.
When I told her how I felt, and that I couldn't imagine anything in my life being the same without her in it, I then asked her to marry me. This clearly caught her off guard, cause she seemed stunned, but after a half second pause (which seemed like an eternity to me…..), she said yes.
The rest of the trip in the park seemed to be that much more awesome because of this amazing connection that had been made. I do feel like we connected on such a deeper level because of it, and that feeling persists now. I can feel it now very strongly despite our 60 mile distance from each other at this moment. We drove through the rest of the park seeing the sights with a visible glow about us.
I feel that this has brought us closer in a lot of ways. I couldn't be happier that she said yes. Having done it, I'm glad I didn't wait for what my head told me was the right moment (i.e. Colorado), because it's not about knowing what you want and waiting for it to happen. It's about knowing what you want and going for it when you want it. I wanted my engagement ring on her finger, and I didn't want to wait any longer to ask if I could put it there.
And although I'm extremely happy about the fact that it's happened, late at night I sit up anxiously worrying about getting my shit in order. I mean, I now will have to be a provider not just for myself, but for 3 other people. I'm not going to back out of this, that's not what my anxiousness is about. I am however terrified. I'm 31, I don't have anything to offer except a wing and a prayer, and I'm taking on responsibility for other human beings who will be completely dependent on me and Laura.
In other words, if I fail now, I'm not the only one who goes under. Things were easier in my previous relationship, because not as much was on the line and I hadn't matured enough yet to really give a damn about money and our future. This is one thing I feel tore that relationship apart. What if I can't get my shit together now? Much more is on the line now.
I came back to Ohio with an extreme can-do attitude. But when I woke up the next morning I started feeling the first real waves of fear. But I imagine most new fathers feel this fear when they find out they will be responsible for another person. I'm just feeling it for the first time at 31, and they aren't even my kids. That doesn't mean I won't do everything I can for them as though they were my kids, but feeling that fear of the "what if" makes me feel kinda numb and disconnected when I'm by myself.
I'm trying to keep my feelings and emotions in check so that nothing builds up inside, so before going to bed I explored myself and found this wall of fear. Laura and I have talked about this already, and I didn't wanna wake her up with it, so I turned to the blog. But what started as a quick explanation of the fear I was feeling has taken me 90 minutes to write.
I do feel better after writing it, and I do look forward to many happy and healthy years ahead with my future wife. She's such an amazing woman, and she gives me strength to make myself a better person. But I know that if I never amount to anything, she'll still love me just the same. It's a wonderful feeling to know that to the very core of yourself. I couldn't ask for a better best friend and companion to share my life with. I look forward to many travels and life experiences, and I look forward to the good times and the bad. I want it all, as long as she's with me for it all.
I love you Laura.
My last blog indicated that there were big things that happened in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. That's right, and it's good news. On our trip back from Atlanta, we went to see the Smokies. I found a secluded place we could pull off and have to ourselves, which had a lot of stunning mountain views. I then took Laura down to a spot out of sight of the road.
It was there that I proposed. She said yes!
Let's explain what had happened. You see, ever since my cancer scare last October, I began examining my life and what I wanted out of it in a very in depth way. I decided that I couldn't live my life without Laura, and that led me to examine what I wanted out of our relationship. There were a lot of heavy things I had to consider, including her two children with special needs. I mean, if I wanted her in my life forever, would I be able to step in and care for two special needs teenagers when I never wanted to kids to begin with?
I knew after last October's cancer scare what was in my heart. But my head wanted me to be absolutely sure, which is why I started trying to be a presence in the girl's lives. After all, if I were to take that plunge, I'd then be responsible for them. After some soul searching, I realized that I had the desire to make it work out. I began to make efforts to spend some time here and there with the girls to get to know them. Celest now asks to go to my house, despite the fact that it's a 60 mile drive, because she loves my electronic drum set. Lotus seems to enjoy it as well, but not nearly as much as Celest. I've grown to love both of them, and want nothing but the best for them. Part of me wishes that I were in a better financial state at 31 years old, so that I could be better equipped to take care of them. Suffice it to say, I realized that I could lay it all on the line for Lotus and Celest, and that they are a part of the woman that I love.
Once I was absolutely sure, the plan was to take Laura to Colorado in June. We even set a date for the trip. Knowing what I was planning, I started dropping hints to myself in my blog so that I could look back on it fondly and point out to her where I had foreshadowed my proposal ("I'll just say this. It's going to be a trip that won't be forgotten."). I was going to buy a ring and pay for our vacation, all with my tax return, while continuing to dig myself out of the financial hole with my day job pay.
My plan was to get Laura to fall in love with the Rockies by driving her to all the wonderful sights I knew of. These included at least two national parks (Great Sand Dunes NP and Rocky Mountain NP at minimum), a drive through the San Luis Valley that makes my heart sing so much, and a drive up to the summit of Mount Evans. As much as I was feeling a need to be in the mountains again all the way to the bottom of my soul, I felt it only fitting that when I tell Laura how I really felt deep down, that it be in an area that meant something to me. If I were with the woman that I loved in the place that I loved, all would be right with the world for that moment and my proposal would mean more to me. So the plan was to ask her to marry me on the summit of Mount Evans.
But that plan was derailed when I was laid off on February 1st. I no longer knew whether or not I would be able to afford the trip, let alone rent. Not knowing that I'll be able to afford my Colorado trip in June really broke my heart, especially since I was planning something of this magnitude to take place during that trip. But in many ways, I feel that my job loss was a blessing. That, however, is a different blog post.
Laura and I had planned a trip to Atlanta during spring break after I went to Atlanta to visit family last Thanksgiving. I took a trip through the Great Smoky Mountains NP on my way back to Ohio on that trip, and fell in love with that park. Though it wasn't the same as being in Colorado, it was close enough to provide solace to my yearning for a mountainous landscape. When I feel the call, it's only 7 hours away. We planned this trip before I lost my job, but since I realized that I was going to be ok financially thanks to steps I took after my last job loss, we made the trip. I mean, it would cost about 3.5 tanks of gas, and room and board were provided by family. It's a quick, easy, cheap way to get away.
I had tossed around the idea of proposing to Laura on the trip to Atlanta while in the Smokies. After all, I couldn't' guarantee that I could make it to Colorado like I had hoped. How long was I going to wait? The urge to pop the question kept brewing up in me, and I almost asked on several occasions where the moment seemed right. But I held off, cause I'm a bit girly at times and didn't want to let go of my mountain proposal. But I really was fighting with myself deciding whether to compromise for the Smokies, or wait for a trip that may not happen this year.
About two weeks ago, I had an epiphany that made my decision clear. We don't have very long on this earth. It was one of those moments that really makes that fact hit you to the core, even though you already are aware of that fact. Nothing happened to trigger it, rather it was a sudden random realization. We don't have long on this planet, and all the money and material bullshit is just bullshit. The important things in life are who you spend it with and that you grab what you want now instead of waiting. There may not be a tomorrow, so get it now and value it. So that's what I decided to do. I would propose in the Smokies.
Saturday morning in Atlanta, before Laura and I went to Stone Mountain, my aunt is cutting my hair and starts asking me about Laura. She asks if I'm happy, then asks if I'm gonna propose. When I answered yes, this was like the first acknowledgement of this fact to anyone in person. I'd had chats with a friend in Indiana (thanks Kyle) about it, but this was my first vocalization of it to another person. This made it more real, but it didn't change my mind. It was a good acknowledgment to make to myself, and cemented my goal of doing it on that trip.
My aunt freaked out, and started getting really girly. When I told Cheryl that I didn't have a ring to give Laura, she whisked me up to her jewelry collection and started looking for a ring to give me as an heirloom. She then found a sneaky way of getting Laura's ring size, which luckily was really close to her own size. So Cheryl found a ring, cleaned it, and put it in a box. I hid it in my laundry, then my aunt and uncle prayed for a long healthy marriage.
When Laura and I took off for Stone Mountain, Cheryl made reservations at a nice, albeit expensive, Italian restaurant. She insisted that they break their rule of not reserving specific tables because she wanted to get us this nice corner table with a view. I think it was named ""Tuscany", and was only a few miles from their home in Woodstock Georgia. Cheryl was hoping I'd propose at the restaurant in front of her, which was out of the question because I wanted it to be a more personal intimate proposal, but this is why Cheryl went through all the trouble to get the perfect table and make a nice evening for us. I appreciate it, and it was a great gesture, it just wasn't how I wanted to do it.
That night, I couldn't sleep. Something Rick had said while praying for our union stuck in my head, and made me briefly re-examine. He prayed that I'd have the strength to be a father to her children. This brought up my fear of not being able to provide for them, and made me question whether it was the right time. But as I lie there next to her, I'd look at her and those fears were put to rest. I would find a way to make it work…..because it's worth it.
So after only 5 hours of sleep, I wake up at 5 am and start packing to leave for the Smokies. By 6:30, we were in the car and on our way. By almost 10 am, we were in the park. This was a big deal to me on another level because this was Laura's first trip to a national park. I wanted it to really impress. We entered on the North Carolina side near Cherokee. Not far into the park, we found a visitor center with memorabilia and park rangers. I bought a couple of shirts for Laura's kids, then bought a magnet from the park to commemorate the trip. I had a collection of magnets from parks that I'd visited previously in my last relationship, but she took them when she moved out. Laura and I decided to start our own collection to commemorate our travels to the parks. So we bought our first national park magnet, which is now on my fridge.
While in the park, we also bought National Park Passports that we can have stamped as we "collect" our parks together. They are kept in my car, and have a date stamp for the date we went to our first park together.
We found out that due to the unusually warm winter, they opened the lookout on Clingman's dome early for the season. That very day was the first day it was open for the season, though it normally is closed till April 1st. So we embarked on our trip up the park road. As we started climbing through the switchbacks looking at mountain vistas and feeling in awe of the landscapes that surrounded me, I could feel that it was right. I was gonna do it, and nothing was gonna stop me. So I found a pull off with an amazing panorama. Fortunately it was early in the day so there weren't many tourists on the park service road, and the pull off I found was empty other than our car.
I remembered this spot specifically because this was the only place in the park I could get reception on my phone. I called Laura from this spot on my last trip through the park last November to tell her how much i wished she were there because it was so amazingly beautiful. I actually thought to myself last November that this spot would make a great place for the proposal if Colorado doesn't work out for some reason.
And 4 months later, I have Laura in that spot. I take her by the hand, and lead her down a little path into the foliage. We were alone, even if someone pulled into the parking lot above. It was here that I let it out.
I had rehearsed this about 50 times in my head, but when it came down to THE moment, my brain stopped wanting to work. So I stuck with the cliffnotes. lol.
When I told her how I felt, and that I couldn't imagine anything in my life being the same without her in it, I then asked her to marry me. This clearly caught her off guard, cause she seemed stunned, but after a half second pause (which seemed like an eternity to me…..), she said yes.
The rest of the trip in the park seemed to be that much more awesome because of this amazing connection that had been made. I do feel like we connected on such a deeper level because of it, and that feeling persists now. I can feel it now very strongly despite our 60 mile distance from each other at this moment. We drove through the rest of the park seeing the sights with a visible glow about us.
I feel that this has brought us closer in a lot of ways. I couldn't be happier that she said yes. Having done it, I'm glad I didn't wait for what my head told me was the right moment (i.e. Colorado), because it's not about knowing what you want and waiting for it to happen. It's about knowing what you want and going for it when you want it. I wanted my engagement ring on her finger, and I didn't want to wait any longer to ask if I could put it there.
And although I'm extremely happy about the fact that it's happened, late at night I sit up anxiously worrying about getting my shit in order. I mean, I now will have to be a provider not just for myself, but for 3 other people. I'm not going to back out of this, that's not what my anxiousness is about. I am however terrified. I'm 31, I don't have anything to offer except a wing and a prayer, and I'm taking on responsibility for other human beings who will be completely dependent on me and Laura.
In other words, if I fail now, I'm not the only one who goes under. Things were easier in my previous relationship, because not as much was on the line and I hadn't matured enough yet to really give a damn about money and our future. This is one thing I feel tore that relationship apart. What if I can't get my shit together now? Much more is on the line now.
I came back to Ohio with an extreme can-do attitude. But when I woke up the next morning I started feeling the first real waves of fear. But I imagine most new fathers feel this fear when they find out they will be responsible for another person. I'm just feeling it for the first time at 31, and they aren't even my kids. That doesn't mean I won't do everything I can for them as though they were my kids, but feeling that fear of the "what if" makes me feel kinda numb and disconnected when I'm by myself.
I'm trying to keep my feelings and emotions in check so that nothing builds up inside, so before going to bed I explored myself and found this wall of fear. Laura and I have talked about this already, and I didn't wanna wake her up with it, so I turned to the blog. But what started as a quick explanation of the fear I was feeling has taken me 90 minutes to write.
I do feel better after writing it, and I do look forward to many happy and healthy years ahead with my future wife. She's such an amazing woman, and she gives me strength to make myself a better person. But I know that if I never amount to anything, she'll still love me just the same. It's a wonderful feeling to know that to the very core of yourself. I couldn't ask for a better best friend and companion to share my life with. I look forward to many travels and life experiences, and I look forward to the good times and the bad. I want it all, as long as she's with me for it all.
I love you Laura.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Spiritual Fulfilment
I may be a self employed multi-preneur working for a career in the music industry, and a full time student, but the goals I'm reaching for with those ambitions are part spiritual and part financial. Those are ambitions that will shape how I live the rest of my life hopefully. But there is more to life than how you earn your money.
There's also the spiritual side. I'm agnostic, but I find a lot of spiritual healing in nature. This is obvious if you've read any of my rants about Colorado.
I was watching netflix today and found a documentary called "Ride The Divide". This 80 minute flick shows a race that took place on the Continental Divide trail, which goes from Banff Canada to the Mexico Border. I watched this movie, thinking about how much I'd LOVE to make this trip. I'm not sure I'd wanna do the race, cause that would be ridiculous, but who knows. It's almost 3,000 miles over the Rocky Mountains from north to south.
Being a fat, lazy 31 year old…..I've got some work to do. I'm gonna start riding, which will require buying a bike. But Laura's interested in doing this with me. We're talking about possibly doing TOSRV, maybe this year.
Part of me wants a new activity to be excited about, and a way of getting back to nature. I think this would be ideal, cause you'd see nature slowly, rather than at 75mph on the interstate, and you could take your time and savor it. This would also give me a new activity to keep myself in shape, cause let's face facts here. I'm getting fat.
There's also the added benefit of having a new activity to do with Laura. I'm excited to try some new things with her, and I know she's a fitness buff. Well, that's putting it lightly. Let's say that she geeks out on crossfit the way I geek out on free acoustical treatment for the studio. So having this activity that we could share, I think it could help bring us closer together.
This is just me thinking out loud (but then again, isn't that the point of a blog?), but what I'd like to try eventually before doing the Divide trail would be to ride from Ohio to Colorado and back. It's pretty much flat, and I think it would be a good test of endurance. Maybe also a ride through the Appalachian's down to Atlanta to help build up Mountain endurance……
Of course I'd need to start smaller than that, so maybe a few rides from Central Ohio to neighboring states as I get my endurance up would be in order. Who knows?
I have a goal to do the Divide trail before my 40's. We'll see if I can do it, cause I've got almost 9 full years ahead of me, so hopefully by then I'll have implemented my 5 year goal and will be financially stable enough to take long stretches of time off of work to do stupid things like this.
But this is what I'm wanting to try now. I'm really excited about this, and we'll see how it goes.
There's also the spiritual side. I'm agnostic, but I find a lot of spiritual healing in nature. This is obvious if you've read any of my rants about Colorado.
I was watching netflix today and found a documentary called "Ride The Divide". This 80 minute flick shows a race that took place on the Continental Divide trail, which goes from Banff Canada to the Mexico Border. I watched this movie, thinking about how much I'd LOVE to make this trip. I'm not sure I'd wanna do the race, cause that would be ridiculous, but who knows. It's almost 3,000 miles over the Rocky Mountains from north to south.Being a fat, lazy 31 year old…..I've got some work to do. I'm gonna start riding, which will require buying a bike. But Laura's interested in doing this with me. We're talking about possibly doing TOSRV, maybe this year.
Part of me wants a new activity to be excited about, and a way of getting back to nature. I think this would be ideal, cause you'd see nature slowly, rather than at 75mph on the interstate, and you could take your time and savor it. This would also give me a new activity to keep myself in shape, cause let's face facts here. I'm getting fat.
There's also the added benefit of having a new activity to do with Laura. I'm excited to try some new things with her, and I know she's a fitness buff. Well, that's putting it lightly. Let's say that she geeks out on crossfit the way I geek out on free acoustical treatment for the studio. So having this activity that we could share, I think it could help bring us closer together.
This is just me thinking out loud (but then again, isn't that the point of a blog?), but what I'd like to try eventually before doing the Divide trail would be to ride from Ohio to Colorado and back. It's pretty much flat, and I think it would be a good test of endurance. Maybe also a ride through the Appalachian's down to Atlanta to help build up Mountain endurance……
Of course I'd need to start smaller than that, so maybe a few rides from Central Ohio to neighboring states as I get my endurance up would be in order. Who knows?
I have a goal to do the Divide trail before my 40's. We'll see if I can do it, cause I've got almost 9 full years ahead of me, so hopefully by then I'll have implemented my 5 year goal and will be financially stable enough to take long stretches of time off of work to do stupid things like this.
But this is what I'm wanting to try now. I'm really excited about this, and we'll see how it goes.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Random
Here I sit in my new control room, which currently lacks acoustic treatment, so any mixing activities would have to take place via headphones until Wednesday when I will have assistance in placing the new acoustical panels. Here's a photo of the current state of the room.
The panels in the corner aren't going to look like that when all is said and done. I've wrapped them in one layer of fabric, and there will be another going over that which will be more appealing to the eye. I'm going to go get some speaker stands tomorrow in all likelyhood, as I'll be in Columbus anyway to take a test.
The panels you see in the corners, which are just leaning there for now, are helping to absorb some of the bass frequencies that were out of control in my other control room. I've graduated from this....
.....which features the ghetto-phonic blankets on the walls to help control room acoustics. It's kind of interesting to see this new phase of evolution when it's compared to what I've worked with in the past. I wish I had photos of my audio desk in Indiana, and my desk at my home on Apache Spring Drive in Conifer Colorado, but I do have my Kings Valley studio photos to start my evolution display. So let's examine. And yes, I know I've shown some of these pics in my blog before.
This was master control at my Kings Valley studio when I first moved to Kings Valley in 2009.
Thanks to a chance meeting with Bob Swanson, I graduated to this within a few months. This is likely February 2010.
Here's a video I shot giving a tour of the Kings Valley studio after Bob Swanson's generosity.
After moving to Marion, Ohio, in June 2010, I was able to take over more space for recording purposes. Now I have a live room, which is pictured below.
But my control room was far from aesthetically pleasing. It was rather ghetto-phonic, but functional. Here is my control room as of last night before tearing it down and moving it to the new control room.
And now, you see the in-progress control room for Skyline Sound Studios pictured below! This photo was taken last night after moving the gear to the new room and setting it up. There's still a lot of work that needs to be done to the new Master Control, but in just 2.5 years my studio has come a long way (figuratively and physically...lol).
So here I sit in my new control room, of which I'm really proud despite it's humble appearance. It'll be booming soon enough when the treatment goes up later this week, and the new speaker stands will help me increase the stereo field by allowing me to put the speakers further back away from the captains chair. The new room is going to be less embarrassing to bring clients into, while not requiring a significant monetary investment (I don't wanna put a lot of money into a place I plan on leaving by summer's end).
On that note, here I sit partially proud of the new control room, and partially contemplative of my future. My income is far less certain than it was 3 weeks ago. I'm trying to make a go of things as is, and we'll see how far I can take it, but I'm feeling kind of anxious about reaching my goals. I've got lofty ones, I realize that, but they are kind of intimidating.
I think about the 5 year goal, and I wonder what the next phase would be in getting me to that goal. I think about the possibilities of my free time, and how far I can take things now that I have the ability to focus on my life on my terms. I think about what would happen if I'm not financially stable when the unemployment runs out. I think about new ventures that I plan to undertake and what would happen if I were to fail at them.
It's a lot to think about, and those thoughts tend to keep me weighed down. I guess that's one of the other reasons I blog, because now that I'm nearing the end of the blog I'm feeling like getting off my ass and tackling the world. So sometimes, aimless undirectional rants are a good thing it would seem.
Ok, lots to do. Bye.
The panels in the corner aren't going to look like that when all is said and done. I've wrapped them in one layer of fabric, and there will be another going over that which will be more appealing to the eye. I'm going to go get some speaker stands tomorrow in all likelyhood, as I'll be in Columbus anyway to take a test.
The panels you see in the corners, which are just leaning there for now, are helping to absorb some of the bass frequencies that were out of control in my other control room. I've graduated from this....
.....which features the ghetto-phonic blankets on the walls to help control room acoustics. It's kind of interesting to see this new phase of evolution when it's compared to what I've worked with in the past. I wish I had photos of my audio desk in Indiana, and my desk at my home on Apache Spring Drive in Conifer Colorado, but I do have my Kings Valley studio photos to start my evolution display. So let's examine. And yes, I know I've shown some of these pics in my blog before.
This was master control at my Kings Valley studio when I first moved to Kings Valley in 2009.
Thanks to a chance meeting with Bob Swanson, I graduated to this within a few months. This is likely February 2010.
Here's a video I shot giving a tour of the Kings Valley studio after Bob Swanson's generosity.
After moving to Marion, Ohio, in June 2010, I was able to take over more space for recording purposes. Now I have a live room, which is pictured below.
But my control room was far from aesthetically pleasing. It was rather ghetto-phonic, but functional. Here is my control room as of last night before tearing it down and moving it to the new control room.
And now, you see the in-progress control room for Skyline Sound Studios pictured below! This photo was taken last night after moving the gear to the new room and setting it up. There's still a lot of work that needs to be done to the new Master Control, but in just 2.5 years my studio has come a long way (figuratively and physically...lol).
So here I sit in my new control room, of which I'm really proud despite it's humble appearance. It'll be booming soon enough when the treatment goes up later this week, and the new speaker stands will help me increase the stereo field by allowing me to put the speakers further back away from the captains chair. The new room is going to be less embarrassing to bring clients into, while not requiring a significant monetary investment (I don't wanna put a lot of money into a place I plan on leaving by summer's end).
On that note, here I sit partially proud of the new control room, and partially contemplative of my future. My income is far less certain than it was 3 weeks ago. I'm trying to make a go of things as is, and we'll see how far I can take it, but I'm feeling kind of anxious about reaching my goals. I've got lofty ones, I realize that, but they are kind of intimidating.
I think about the 5 year goal, and I wonder what the next phase would be in getting me to that goal. I think about the possibilities of my free time, and how far I can take things now that I have the ability to focus on my life on my terms. I think about what would happen if I'm not financially stable when the unemployment runs out. I think about new ventures that I plan to undertake and what would happen if I were to fail at them.
It's a lot to think about, and those thoughts tend to keep me weighed down. I guess that's one of the other reasons I blog, because now that I'm nearing the end of the blog I'm feeling like getting off my ass and tackling the world. So sometimes, aimless undirectional rants are a good thing it would seem.
Ok, lots to do. Bye.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Marion…..
I'm wondering if my life is ever going to go the way I need it too as long as I'm living in Marion.
This town is the poorest city in the state, and I kinda feel cheated into living here and like I was stranded here.
I stay now because my rent is cheap, my space is large, and it gives me a place to set up shop for Skyline Sound Studios. Now that I'm technically unemployed, having a large place to park the studio on the cheap, and also rest my head, is a valuable asset. But here's the problem.
I'm 50 miles north of my target market for the studio, which is the Greater Columbus Metropolitan Area. People in Columbus act like driving from Groveport to Dublin is some monumental trek that you must be insane to wanna make. Needless to say, getting people interested in coming to Marion from Columbus has been a challenge.
I've lucked out on a few occasions. There have been artists willing to make the drive. But on the whole, I hear people ask where I'm located, then act appalled and say they are going to the facility that costs twice as much as I do instead. Do they not realize that the gas money they are spending to get to Marion would be far less than doubling their studio bill?
The obvious answer would be to cater to the Marion area. There are bands here, and a couple of competing studios. But the problem for me is the fact that I was raised in a small town very similar to Marion, and I'm terrified of this town. Let me elaborate.
To say that Marion is economically depressed is an understatement. It was declared last year as the poorest city in the state of Ohio. This causes unemployment to increase, which means that in order for me to cater to the Marion bands, I'm going to have to lower my prices to match this market. That will do nothing to get me out of Marion.
The other issue is the fact that economically depressed areas, such as this, typically have high use of hardcore drugs. In Scioto County, it's hillbilly heroin (a.k.a. Oxycontin). I was raised there, and saw some horrific things. If I lived in Scioto County, I'd put my studio gear in storage 3 counties away and tell no one I was a recording engineer for fear of a home invasion by a crack head looking for things to sell so they could get their fix.
Apparently, Marion's big problem is black tar heroin. So you take an economically depressed area with a well known substance abuse problem, and you have a recipe for a robbery. In fact, my car was broken into last spring, and I lost about $120 that I foolishly left in the car. This was right after Sarah moved out, and rent was very difficult to make that month as a result of the robbery. Now my neighbors bitch that I park on the street instead of in my lengthy dark driveway, but on the street under the street light, my car is in full view of my next door neighbors security camera. My asshole neighbor across the street can go fuck himself with something hard and sandpapery.
So not only was I stranded an hour from my target market, but now that I have a limited income (relying on unemployment), it's hard to justify making trips to Columbus to look for clients. And even if I find them, they may scoff at the idea of driving an hour north to work with me, or I'll hear "my friend has an 8 track. We'll just use that". I'm too scared of being robbed to look for clients in Marion. So the solution is to get the hell out of Marion. This would also increase my day job prospects exponentially.
I was still holding on to hope that I could make my Colorado stress relief vacation this summer happen. It may have to be shelved, and me remain angry, for another year, because I can't continue living up here. I mean, I can, but if my unemployment runs dry and I have no studio business or label income, I doubt I could handle working with those sexist racists on the assembly line at Whirlpool again. My stress level was already to the point of causing me physical ills before I got laid off two weeks ago. With news of Olive's tragic accident, I'm still just as stressed. There's no way I could bring myself to take that road again unless there were no other option……..which is often the case in a town like Marion.
It seems like as long as I live here, it's infinitely more difficult to move foreword.
The shitty thing is that in order to make this move and better my situation, I may have to hold off on some other financial commitments, which makes me hesitate yet again. These would be joint bills to my ex. Part of me wants to scream that she put me through hell, and that despite the fact that I showed her it would be easier to pay off certain bills if she were to stay even 6 more months, she moved anyway and made everything harder for both of us. I offered her a compromise, and she left regardless, which I get on some levels. She had to do what she needed to do to better herself, and in order to do that, she had to tighten the financial strings on both of us. Well, she won't be happy if it comes to that (notice I said "if"), but it may come down to me needing to tighten my financial strings in order to get ahead, and resume payments on those debts when I'm again able. I'm not sure if this will be necessary yet, we'll see. But if it's needed, it's needed. That's not a call to action, just a realistic analysis of what may be needed. We'll see if I can avoid that, because obviously I wanna keep my commitments. But I can't let my commitments drive me into the ground either.
So we'll see. It's clear that I need to get out of this town to better myself and my prospects. A week ago I'd have been heartbroken over losing my Colorado trip, but now after facing Olive's passing, I'm just focused on rebuilding my life as quickly as humanly possible. If I live to see my 5 year goal, barring unforeseen circumstances, the Rockies will still be there.
So now let's figure out how to make it happen.
This town is the poorest city in the state, and I kinda feel cheated into living here and like I was stranded here.
I stay now because my rent is cheap, my space is large, and it gives me a place to set up shop for Skyline Sound Studios. Now that I'm technically unemployed, having a large place to park the studio on the cheap, and also rest my head, is a valuable asset. But here's the problem.
I'm 50 miles north of my target market for the studio, which is the Greater Columbus Metropolitan Area. People in Columbus act like driving from Groveport to Dublin is some monumental trek that you must be insane to wanna make. Needless to say, getting people interested in coming to Marion from Columbus has been a challenge.
I've lucked out on a few occasions. There have been artists willing to make the drive. But on the whole, I hear people ask where I'm located, then act appalled and say they are going to the facility that costs twice as much as I do instead. Do they not realize that the gas money they are spending to get to Marion would be far less than doubling their studio bill?
The obvious answer would be to cater to the Marion area. There are bands here, and a couple of competing studios. But the problem for me is the fact that I was raised in a small town very similar to Marion, and I'm terrified of this town. Let me elaborate.
To say that Marion is economically depressed is an understatement. It was declared last year as the poorest city in the state of Ohio. This causes unemployment to increase, which means that in order for me to cater to the Marion bands, I'm going to have to lower my prices to match this market. That will do nothing to get me out of Marion.
The other issue is the fact that economically depressed areas, such as this, typically have high use of hardcore drugs. In Scioto County, it's hillbilly heroin (a.k.a. Oxycontin). I was raised there, and saw some horrific things. If I lived in Scioto County, I'd put my studio gear in storage 3 counties away and tell no one I was a recording engineer for fear of a home invasion by a crack head looking for things to sell so they could get their fix.
Apparently, Marion's big problem is black tar heroin. So you take an economically depressed area with a well known substance abuse problem, and you have a recipe for a robbery. In fact, my car was broken into last spring, and I lost about $120 that I foolishly left in the car. This was right after Sarah moved out, and rent was very difficult to make that month as a result of the robbery. Now my neighbors bitch that I park on the street instead of in my lengthy dark driveway, but on the street under the street light, my car is in full view of my next door neighbors security camera. My asshole neighbor across the street can go fuck himself with something hard and sandpapery.
So not only was I stranded an hour from my target market, but now that I have a limited income (relying on unemployment), it's hard to justify making trips to Columbus to look for clients. And even if I find them, they may scoff at the idea of driving an hour north to work with me, or I'll hear "my friend has an 8 track. We'll just use that". I'm too scared of being robbed to look for clients in Marion. So the solution is to get the hell out of Marion. This would also increase my day job prospects exponentially.
I was still holding on to hope that I could make my Colorado stress relief vacation this summer happen. It may have to be shelved, and me remain angry, for another year, because I can't continue living up here. I mean, I can, but if my unemployment runs dry and I have no studio business or label income, I doubt I could handle working with those sexist racists on the assembly line at Whirlpool again. My stress level was already to the point of causing me physical ills before I got laid off two weeks ago. With news of Olive's tragic accident, I'm still just as stressed. There's no way I could bring myself to take that road again unless there were no other option……..which is often the case in a town like Marion.
It seems like as long as I live here, it's infinitely more difficult to move foreword.
The shitty thing is that in order to make this move and better my situation, I may have to hold off on some other financial commitments, which makes me hesitate yet again. These would be joint bills to my ex. Part of me wants to scream that she put me through hell, and that despite the fact that I showed her it would be easier to pay off certain bills if she were to stay even 6 more months, she moved anyway and made everything harder for both of us. I offered her a compromise, and she left regardless, which I get on some levels. She had to do what she needed to do to better herself, and in order to do that, she had to tighten the financial strings on both of us. Well, she won't be happy if it comes to that (notice I said "if"), but it may come down to me needing to tighten my financial strings in order to get ahead, and resume payments on those debts when I'm again able. I'm not sure if this will be necessary yet, we'll see. But if it's needed, it's needed. That's not a call to action, just a realistic analysis of what may be needed. We'll see if I can avoid that, because obviously I wanna keep my commitments. But I can't let my commitments drive me into the ground either.
So we'll see. It's clear that I need to get out of this town to better myself and my prospects. A week ago I'd have been heartbroken over losing my Colorado trip, but now after facing Olive's passing, I'm just focused on rebuilding my life as quickly as humanly possible. If I live to see my 5 year goal, barring unforeseen circumstances, the Rockies will still be there.
So now let's figure out how to make it happen.
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Easy Discouragement.
It can be hard to stay optimistic in the face of a job loss, and I've been struggling with that since it happened. But quite frankly, I need to get over myself. I'm human, so I'm allowed to feel self doubt. But the true test is in how well I implement my own life philosophy.
"Shit happens. There's no reason. But the true test of self is in how you handle it."
Some say that everything happens for a reason. I don't believe that, but I don't argue about it with those who do. I just believe that life is random, and that there's no reason behind things that happen. Some look back at things that have happened, and see a good thing that comes as a result of those things happening, but I see them as separate where some see them as the reason those things happened to begin with. Not me. It's random, shit will always happen, and the true test of self is how you handle it.
So now I'm being tested. As a human it's ok to feel some self doubt right now. In fact, I'd worry if I didn't. I'm a human, and I have a ton of insecurities and a ton of self doubt that I deal with.
Last night, dispute telling myself that I was going to be ok, I couldn't escape the feeling that I'd failed. I even had Laura re-affirm what I'd said, which is that in just a few short months I was able to prepare myself financially for a job loss, and now that it's happened, I'm ok for a bit thanks to steps I've taken. I still felt like my goals were out of reach though, but as a human, I'm going to have those moments. That's ok. The future is uncertain right now, but then again, isn't it always? Now it's time for me to knuckle down and really focus on getting my life on the path I want it to be on. Now is not a time to fuck around. But allowing myself the chance to feel what I'm naturally going to feel is also essential, as I don't wanna be the guy who bottles anything up anymore.
I bottled up mom's passing for a decade. It tore me up. I bottled up a lot of things through the years, and they always tore me up. I'm 31, and trying to reprogram my brain to stop doing that. So it's ok to feel self doubt, and it's ok to feel the fear of uncertainty. But they can't rule me.
So to put a positive spin on it all, I was able to make things easier this time around thanks to the steps I put into place. That's a lesson that I need to learn, which states that what I'm doing is working. This means that I was on the right path to financial security, and when my income stabilizes again I need to keep those things in place. Ultimately, this means that I can reach my 5 year goal, and that I shouldn't get disheartened and give up.
So on I fight.
"Shit happens. There's no reason. But the true test of self is in how you handle it."
Some say that everything happens for a reason. I don't believe that, but I don't argue about it with those who do. I just believe that life is random, and that there's no reason behind things that happen. Some look back at things that have happened, and see a good thing that comes as a result of those things happening, but I see them as separate where some see them as the reason those things happened to begin with. Not me. It's random, shit will always happen, and the true test of self is how you handle it.
So now I'm being tested. As a human it's ok to feel some self doubt right now. In fact, I'd worry if I didn't. I'm a human, and I have a ton of insecurities and a ton of self doubt that I deal with.
Last night, dispute telling myself that I was going to be ok, I couldn't escape the feeling that I'd failed. I even had Laura re-affirm what I'd said, which is that in just a few short months I was able to prepare myself financially for a job loss, and now that it's happened, I'm ok for a bit thanks to steps I've taken. I still felt like my goals were out of reach though, but as a human, I'm going to have those moments. That's ok. The future is uncertain right now, but then again, isn't it always? Now it's time for me to knuckle down and really focus on getting my life on the path I want it to be on. Now is not a time to fuck around. But allowing myself the chance to feel what I'm naturally going to feel is also essential, as I don't wanna be the guy who bottles anything up anymore.
I bottled up mom's passing for a decade. It tore me up. I bottled up a lot of things through the years, and they always tore me up. I'm 31, and trying to reprogram my brain to stop doing that. So it's ok to feel self doubt, and it's ok to feel the fear of uncertainty. But they can't rule me.
So to put a positive spin on it all, I was able to make things easier this time around thanks to the steps I put into place. That's a lesson that I need to learn, which states that what I'm doing is working. This means that I was on the right path to financial security, and when my income stabilizes again I need to keep those things in place. Ultimately, this means that I can reach my 5 year goal, and that I shouldn't get disheartened and give up.
So on I fight.
Friday, February 3, 2012
Back to the drawing board.
I got laid off again. Damned temp jobs. I'm pretty stressed about it actually. It would seem that my stress levels that were accumulating (as mentioned in a blog post a few days ago) have turned so bad that I've been fighting stomach cramps with this news.
But it's not all bad news. I was starting to obviously wear thin with that job due to it's repetitiveness, compounded with the other stresses in my life, so part of me is relieved to never have to go back there. The last few days I went, I dreaded walking in the building. That's a sign that it should end, and it has now, but not by my choice.
On the upside, I've got time to focus on school and my other projects, and I can now look for a new job that won't (hopefully) be as stressful. I'm ok financially at this moment, so I'm trying to not worry about where my next meal is coming from until it gets to that point. I've already filed for unemployment, so hopefully that will kick in very soon.
I'm ok, and believe it or not the fact that I'm admitting the job loss to the blog is actually helping me feel better about it at this moment as far as my stress level is concerned. Thankfully, I implemented Phase 1 a while back, and now know how far I can stretch my current assets. Also, thankfully I've begun alternative income streams that, even though they haven't paid off yet (still working on sweat equity in those areas), will help reduce the impacts of this on me financially when they do pay off.
What breaks my heart is that my Colorado trip may not be able to happen in June, and that my move from Marion may not be able to happen by September now. So Phase 3 is on hold while I focus attention on patching up phase 1 and 2.
I won't let this deter me though. Believe it or not, I've been unable to function in the aftermath of getting the news, but now as I write this blog I'm touching on the undying confidence that I've got beneath the surface. I won't give up, I just have an obstacle to overcome. It's still very early in the scheme of things regarding my 5 year plan, and these things are going to happen to someone in the duration of a 5 year journey to self enrichment (spiritually and monetarily). I'm not going to give in, and I'm not adjusting my ultimate goal. I will have to adjust my vacation and moving from Marion goals, but that's a short term adjustment til I overcome this speed bump.
The thing I'm grateful for is that I've paid down two of my 3 credit cards. I now need any cash coming in to live on, so I can't snowball the last one yet (Fuck you NTB!), but that will come in time. Right now, I'm focusing on school, job hunting, and my various projects.
So wish me luck. Let's just hope the unemployment checks kick in soon, and let's just hope that this is one of those "blessing in disguise" deals.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Life imbalance:
When we were kids, life was care free for the most part. This was because we had others caring for us, and didn't have to worry about life's responsibilities ourselves. Life could be good in that situation.
Then some of us become adults, and don't know how to live without being looked after. These individuals can become dependant on others through life, as they never seek to take care of themselves.
Some of us become adults, and become worker bees. We work for a living just trying to sustain ourselves. We work ourselves to the bone just trying to keep up a certain standard, or to pay off debts, and never really are able to re-attain the worry free existence we had as children.
Then some of us become adults, and are able to become financially independant enough to actually live life care-free, regardless of what may come. These people don't worry about keeping up with anything, becuase they are able to take advantage of all that life has to offer them. They are either born into this, or work to attain it.
I don't wanna be in the first two groups. I wanna be financially stable enough to not have to worry anymore about anything. My poor upbringing, and the debts I have, are just two of the many barriers I have to overcome to get to this point. But if Bill Gates can do it, why can't I? I don't need to be the richest man in the world, I just wanna have enough diversified income streams that I don't have to worry about the rat race anymore and can just live life the way I would if money weren't a concern.
I look at all the wonderful things life has to offer. I look at how I've lived mine. I feel disgusted. I'm giving myself the arbitrary deadline of New Years Eve 2017 to turn the tables back in my favor (my 5 year plan), but this is gonna take some real work and strategic planning. Instead of just working for a living, I aim to establish self sustaining income streams that will ensure my financial viability. Instead of paying off debts for the next 30 years, I aim to snowball them and get them out of my life at the soonest point that I am able.
Life offers a lot of wonderful things to those who have the resources available to allow them to enjoy it. I'm going after my share. Fuck poverty. Fuck debt. Fuck uncertainty. That's no way to live.
Then some of us become adults, and don't know how to live without being looked after. These individuals can become dependant on others through life, as they never seek to take care of themselves.
Some of us become adults, and become worker bees. We work for a living just trying to sustain ourselves. We work ourselves to the bone just trying to keep up a certain standard, or to pay off debts, and never really are able to re-attain the worry free existence we had as children.
Then some of us become adults, and are able to become financially independant enough to actually live life care-free, regardless of what may come. These people don't worry about keeping up with anything, becuase they are able to take advantage of all that life has to offer them. They are either born into this, or work to attain it.
I don't wanna be in the first two groups. I wanna be financially stable enough to not have to worry anymore about anything. My poor upbringing, and the debts I have, are just two of the many barriers I have to overcome to get to this point. But if Bill Gates can do it, why can't I? I don't need to be the richest man in the world, I just wanna have enough diversified income streams that I don't have to worry about the rat race anymore and can just live life the way I would if money weren't a concern.
I look at all the wonderful things life has to offer. I look at how I've lived mine. I feel disgusted. I'm giving myself the arbitrary deadline of New Years Eve 2017 to turn the tables back in my favor (my 5 year plan), but this is gonna take some real work and strategic planning. Instead of just working for a living, I aim to establish self sustaining income streams that will ensure my financial viability. Instead of paying off debts for the next 30 years, I aim to snowball them and get them out of my life at the soonest point that I am able.
Life offers a lot of wonderful things to those who have the resources available to allow them to enjoy it. I'm going after my share. Fuck poverty. Fuck debt. Fuck uncertainty. That's no way to live.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Why reducing my debt is so important.
http://www.tarmek09.com/?attachment_id=123
That's a pretty damned obvious question, isn't it? But on the heels of having paid off two of my credit cards in the past several months, it's one that I'm getting jazzed about. I've got one card to go, and I plan to handle that with my tax return. The card is only $600, but it's got an APR of 28.99%. The minimum monthly payment on this card is $25, and if that's all I ever pay, it'll take me till March 2015 to pay it off. I'll have paid Citi an extra $327.38 in interest as well. That's what Citi wants, and that's what a lot of people do, which is why they are perpetually poor. So it's obvious that I need to snowball all my resources into this card a.s.a.p. so that it's no longer costing me an extra $14.82 each month. Each month, if I pay only the minimum, I'll be paying 60% of the money toward interest, and only 40% toward the actual balance! That's ridiculous.
I'm planning on holding on to my tax return for a trip to Colorado in June, but that trip is 17 weeks away. Meanwhile, getting paid around $440-week, I can save myself a lot of money in the long run if I just go ahead and use the return to pay off my Citi card's $600 balance, park the rest in savings, and set back 10$% of my pay each week till I've recovered the balance. Over 17 weeks, 10% of my pay would be $748!
Part of me is nervous about this. Part of me wants me to hold on to the tax return the whole time so I can have an emergency bundle in case I get laid off. But the other part of me remembers how ruthless the bill collection calls were last time I was laid off. I had 3 open credit cards then, and the calls wouldn't stop. So this would reduce the bills due if my job were lost again, which would reduce my cost of living, and make another job loss easier to bare.
The other part that worried me initially about the idea was the fact that I really want this tax return to pay for the Colorado trip. I was worried initially that if I lost my job, I wouldn't be able to repay the money to the trip fund, and then I wouldn't be able to go. But then I snapped into reality and realized that if I do lose my job, I'll need that tax return to live off of. There wouldn't be a Colorado trip. I may as well use it to pay down my debts now while I do have a steady income.
I could just park the money in my savings from my tax return, then snowball 10% of every paycheck into the credit card over the next few months. That would mean I'd have it paid off before my trip in June, but only by a month. And then I'd be paying an extra $35.52 in interest that I wouldn't have to pay. So I'd actually be paying $635.52 over 4 months. It makes more sense to me to instead just pay it off now, and stop the flow of more interest charges from Citi, then repay myself by putting the 10% in my savings each week. That savings would actually be earning ME interest, as opposed to costing me interest. In other words, it would save me more money for my Colorado trip, and for overall living, if I just pay it down in one payment with my tax return.
Sure, this wouldn't be the end of my debts. I have other interest bearing debts (things like student loans…..). But the interest rates of these 3 credit cards has been costing me so much more of my hard earned money than was justified by the original purchases that these had to be paid off a.s.a.p.
I just dumped the figures from my 3 credit cards into my Debtinator software, and if I had just started paying off these 3 cards at maxed out balances, only making the minimums, I'd have paid $752.71 in interest alone on a $600 credit limit with Citi (at 28.99%), $735.05 in interest on a $500 credit limit with HSBC (at 26.99%), and $730.39 in interest on a $500 credit limit with Chase (at 29.99%). To top it off, it would've taken me 3 years to have paid off these cards. So out of a total credit limit of $1600, I would've paid off the $1600 principal and paid $2218.15 in interest. That's a total of $3818.15 on $1600 worth of credit!
Yeah, and now I'm really pissed at myself for having perpetually maxed out credit cards over the last 6 years. This is sickening. At least now, I've paid off my HSBC and Chase cards, and it's only been a few months. But this ends now. Period.
2011 was a wake up call. 2012 is the year I turn it all around. I'm done being a slave.
Monday, January 23, 2012
In due time.
We all start somewhere. Me, I started poor as shit with the odds stacked against me unless I could get out of Scioto County. Luckily, I got out without a pill problem. I made some awesome moves, saw much of this awesome country, but I managed my money really poorly because I didn't know any better.
So now I'm focused on what I want and where I want to go, and I see examples of what I want in my colleagues. I'm proud that these people have what I'm striving for, so this isn't a jealous stab at them. But this blog is a place for me to get my thoughts out, and right now my thoughts are that I'm starting humble and building my way up to mega awesomeness with my studio.
This is gonna take a lot of effort on my part, and a LOT of major money management changes. I've been implementing those changes, and I have made some minor accomplishments so far to reduce my debt and increase my net worth. If I'm gonna get there, I gotta get outta the hole a.s.a.p. So this new lazer-like focus is a very big help with that.
But again, we all start somewhere. Right now, I feel that my skills have outgrown my meager gear, and I'm pretty good with the meager equipment I own. But my client base isn't there yet to justify any major gear upgrades. So I have to focus on the most important upgrades first, while continuing the necessary steps to increase my net worth and get myself out of insolvency. This way, when the time comes to make the switch from a full time day job to my own self employment, this insolvency won't be hanging over my head giving me a reason to say no to making the jump into uncertain income earnings. There's freedom in working for yourself completely, but there's also major risk, and right now I can't afford that risk until this insolvency is reversed. So that is a major factor that I'm attacking with full strength.
But here's a snapshot of where I've been. This was my studio in October 2009 in Conifer Colorado.
A few months later, I met Bob Swanson. This was the real game changer for me. Bob had talked one of my recording clients into having his studio mix the project instead of me, and yeah this did sting because I was trying to fight and scrape for clients where I could. To lose one was painful in those days.
But I took it like a professional. I went to Bob's studio and delivered the files. I walked into Bob's Pro Tools studio in Conifer, and was admittedly jealous of what I was seeing. This was light years beyond anything I could afford. But I was there for a professional purpose, so I had to be a pro and talk about what was intended for the mixes for the client.
Bob started probing me asking about the version of Pro Tools I was using. I told him I was tracking on a BOSS BR-1600, and mixing in Adobe Audition 1.5 on a shitty old PC in a spare bedroom…..
…..and you could see his demeanor change.
He said what struck him the most was that I was going out there with what most in the business would call toys, and calling myself a studio. And the thing that dumbfounded him was that it was working, because I was getting clients. He said he knew 30 people who wanted to "play the game" but didn't feel they had enough gear, when they had 10 times what I had, yet here I was doing it.
I think he felt somewhat guilty about snagging a client from someone who was just starting out, and felt compelled to help me out. So the next thing you know, he started handing me pop filters and headphones! He began placing bids on ebay for pieces that I could use, and got me a nice headphone amp. Then he started raiding his mic closet, and gave me a $700 mic! To top it all off, he asked his friends who were also audio engineers to pass him along some of their spare pieces that they were no longer using. I got two flat panel PC monitors, new Tannoy Active monitors, a bunch of new mics, and more! This was all given free of charge in an effort to help give me the jumpstart he felt I needed.
First of all, I did not deserve ANY of this generosity, but as if that wasn't enough Bob started having me come over to help him with studio tasks and began gaving me tips to improve my skills. I'm still flattered and somewhat confused by the generosity of someone like Bob, but here he was helping me left and right to build myself up. He'd say "With someone like you going at it with the meager amount of gear you have, if someone really pushed you………you'd be dangerous." And here he was pushing me.
So next thing you know, my gear list jumped by leaps and bounds. I went from this….
…..to this……
Then Bob ordered a new console for his studio, straight out of Nashville. This console is a Raindirk Symphony console, and there aren't many in the US. There's one in Columbus, Ohio, at John Schwab's studio, but Bob's is bigger (that's what she said…..) The fun thing is that I got to help install this behemoth! This console was as long as my Bonneville, I kid you not Here's a video I shot after helping him load it in off the truck from Nashville.
……and here's a pic of the console all set up in Bob's studio.
Here's the cool thing. Bob's new toy was bought from Nashville, where it was featured in this Casey Ashley video. The console in this video is the EXACT SAME ONE I helped install in Conifer, Colorado at Swanpro Studios.
Things were going well knowing Bob. Bob was the best thing that happened to me professionally, because it was the first time that someone not only showed faith in me, but it was also the first time someone put their money where their mouth is. The generosity he bestowed will never be forgotten.
While I lived in Conifer, I also met Brad Smalling, who owns Evergroove. This happened when one day I called up Evergroove after just having moved to Colorado to ask about their freelance rates. I never got any freelance clients to go to Evergroove, but one day I'm using the local Freecycle service and I spot a pro audio rack! I thought this was an odd find, but too good to pass up. So I snagged it up, which started a conversation with Jenny Chaput Smalling. Jenny informed me that they were the owners of Evergroove, which reminded me that I'd been in touch with them before. I got back in touch with Brad, and we started talking. I toured his studio, which is a very nice place in the mountains and is just down the road from Bob's studio! The environmentalist in me was stoked about Evergroove because it's solar powered, and I still think that's REALLY cool. Here's a photo of Evergroove.
So here I was with some meager equipment, but meeting some really cool Colorado contacts. Things were looking up, and even though I had a long way to go before I could match what these guys had, I was glad to be considered a player in the game of the Colorado music scene.
But then I moved back to Ohio when Sarah got a job in Richwood. I came here with a dedication to make Skyline Sound Studios something grand in the Buckeye state, and I'm still trying to make that happen. But when I landed here, the flow of clients I had obviously ground to a halt. The first session I had in Ohio was a blues band called Breadwagon, who were really cool to hang with. We spent 7 hours recording and mixing a really cool demo. Here's a video I shot that day.
But Skyline was still limited to just a spare bedroom of the house Sarah and I rented. We rented a house an hour north of my target market, which made getting clients a bit challenging. And then my ensuing personal financial crisis that occurred after Sarah left meant that I was stranded in Marion until my finances improved. So I decided to make the best of it. I spread the studio around the house, and now I had more space than Bob Swanson or Brad Smalling. The difference is it's in a house, not a professionally treated studio environment. But at least now I had a place finally all to myself to put my studio full time.
You see, before Sarah moved out my recording sessions would happen remotely. I'd pack up my gear and take it to the clients rehearsal space to do the recording, then bring the tracks back to "home base" to do the mixing. My current client Enemy By Mourning got this treatment in Ohio, as their first demo was rush-tracked in the band's rehearsal space. Here's a video of that session.
Again, this was just a demo, but it helped the band gain a footing in the central Ohio scene, which did help bring me a couple of clients. I know that Liquid Ghandi came in after hearing what I did for EBM on their demo.
When The Blitz wouldn't play EBM's demo on local stuff, I wasn't surprised. It was a rush job, and they wanted it that way. It was just a good sounding quick and dirty demo from the start. So we started planning out a way to get them something that did sound radio quality for airplay on The Blitz. We decided to use Electronic Drums I had acquired as a midi recorder and run the midi through Steven Slate Drums to get the drum sounds without the room playing a factor. I also upgraded my gear from Adobe Audition 1.5 to Pro Tools 9 on a brand new 27" iMac!
Now it was time to play the game. We buckled down and pumped out a mix that was successful in getting them airplay, and quite frankly it was one of the best things I'd recorded. I was uber proud of myself.
And now not only had my gear selection grown, but my abilities had grown thanks to the amount of space I had in the house to dedicate to the studio. Here's a pic of the live room in the current studio.
Not much has changed since then, as I've decided to focus any money coming in from Skyline toward my debts to reduce my insolvency. But more upgrades are in the works very soon. I'm going to switch back to using studio revenues for the betterment of the studio very soon. But the current set-up works very well for me and is proof that it's not the gear, it's the engineer. I've spent a lot of time over the last year honing my skills. Here's some of the fruits of those labors.
So I've come a good way in a couple of years considering the limited amount of time I have to put into things, and the amount of resources I have. It's been a ghettophoenic experience from the ground up. But I have places I wanna take it, and I'm working every day to make that happen. For example, let's look at Swanpro Studios and Evergroove Studios, then compare that with where I am gear wise…..
It's NOT the gear, it's the engineer. But being a quality engineer with the high end shit = living the dream. So I'm working toward it. Meanwhile, I just hope that people will judge my product, and not my gear. Because, again, it's NOT THE GEAR. It's the engineer. But I can honestly say that without podcasts (IHR, PSN, HRO, HRS, Sessions With Slau, Ronan's Recording Show…..to name a few), or the help of the engineers I've met guiding me through and giving me advice (Bob Swanson, Brad Smalling, Dave Piatek, to name a few…..), I'd not be where I am now. Two years ago, I'd have KILLED for what I have now, so it's all in perspective. But this isn't the end of the line. I wanna move Skyline out of the house and into it's own facility. I wanna make it a major player in the Columbus music scene, because my mixing skills have been proven to be competitive (Nuber on The Blitz is a tough cookie). So hopefully within the 5 years I have allocated for my 5 year goal, I'll be able to transition from where I am now to something more like one of these.
……and my blog will come along for the ride. Stay tuned.
So now I'm focused on what I want and where I want to go, and I see examples of what I want in my colleagues. I'm proud that these people have what I'm striving for, so this isn't a jealous stab at them. But this blog is a place for me to get my thoughts out, and right now my thoughts are that I'm starting humble and building my way up to mega awesomeness with my studio.
This is gonna take a lot of effort on my part, and a LOT of major money management changes. I've been implementing those changes, and I have made some minor accomplishments so far to reduce my debt and increase my net worth. If I'm gonna get there, I gotta get outta the hole a.s.a.p. So this new lazer-like focus is a very big help with that.
But again, we all start somewhere. Right now, I feel that my skills have outgrown my meager gear, and I'm pretty good with the meager equipment I own. But my client base isn't there yet to justify any major gear upgrades. So I have to focus on the most important upgrades first, while continuing the necessary steps to increase my net worth and get myself out of insolvency. This way, when the time comes to make the switch from a full time day job to my own self employment, this insolvency won't be hanging over my head giving me a reason to say no to making the jump into uncertain income earnings. There's freedom in working for yourself completely, but there's also major risk, and right now I can't afford that risk until this insolvency is reversed. So that is a major factor that I'm attacking with full strength.
But here's a snapshot of where I've been. This was my studio in October 2009 in Conifer Colorado.
A few months later, I met Bob Swanson. This was the real game changer for me. Bob had talked one of my recording clients into having his studio mix the project instead of me, and yeah this did sting because I was trying to fight and scrape for clients where I could. To lose one was painful in those days.
But I took it like a professional. I went to Bob's studio and delivered the files. I walked into Bob's Pro Tools studio in Conifer, and was admittedly jealous of what I was seeing. This was light years beyond anything I could afford. But I was there for a professional purpose, so I had to be a pro and talk about what was intended for the mixes for the client.
Bob started probing me asking about the version of Pro Tools I was using. I told him I was tracking on a BOSS BR-1600, and mixing in Adobe Audition 1.5 on a shitty old PC in a spare bedroom…..
…..and you could see his demeanor change.
He said what struck him the most was that I was going out there with what most in the business would call toys, and calling myself a studio. And the thing that dumbfounded him was that it was working, because I was getting clients. He said he knew 30 people who wanted to "play the game" but didn't feel they had enough gear, when they had 10 times what I had, yet here I was doing it.
I think he felt somewhat guilty about snagging a client from someone who was just starting out, and felt compelled to help me out. So the next thing you know, he started handing me pop filters and headphones! He began placing bids on ebay for pieces that I could use, and got me a nice headphone amp. Then he started raiding his mic closet, and gave me a $700 mic! To top it all off, he asked his friends who were also audio engineers to pass him along some of their spare pieces that they were no longer using. I got two flat panel PC monitors, new Tannoy Active monitors, a bunch of new mics, and more! This was all given free of charge in an effort to help give me the jumpstart he felt I needed.
First of all, I did not deserve ANY of this generosity, but as if that wasn't enough Bob started having me come over to help him with studio tasks and began gaving me tips to improve my skills. I'm still flattered and somewhat confused by the generosity of someone like Bob, but here he was helping me left and right to build myself up. He'd say "With someone like you going at it with the meager amount of gear you have, if someone really pushed you………you'd be dangerous." And here he was pushing me.
So next thing you know, my gear list jumped by leaps and bounds. I went from this….
…..to this……
Then Bob ordered a new console for his studio, straight out of Nashville. This console is a Raindirk Symphony console, and there aren't many in the US. There's one in Columbus, Ohio, at John Schwab's studio, but Bob's is bigger (that's what she said…..) The fun thing is that I got to help install this behemoth! This console was as long as my Bonneville, I kid you not Here's a video I shot after helping him load it in off the truck from Nashville.
……and here's a pic of the console all set up in Bob's studio.
Here's the cool thing. Bob's new toy was bought from Nashville, where it was featured in this Casey Ashley video. The console in this video is the EXACT SAME ONE I helped install in Conifer, Colorado at Swanpro Studios.
Things were going well knowing Bob. Bob was the best thing that happened to me professionally, because it was the first time that someone not only showed faith in me, but it was also the first time someone put their money where their mouth is. The generosity he bestowed will never be forgotten.
While I lived in Conifer, I also met Brad Smalling, who owns Evergroove. This happened when one day I called up Evergroove after just having moved to Colorado to ask about their freelance rates. I never got any freelance clients to go to Evergroove, but one day I'm using the local Freecycle service and I spot a pro audio rack! I thought this was an odd find, but too good to pass up. So I snagged it up, which started a conversation with Jenny Chaput Smalling. Jenny informed me that they were the owners of Evergroove, which reminded me that I'd been in touch with them before. I got back in touch with Brad, and we started talking. I toured his studio, which is a very nice place in the mountains and is just down the road from Bob's studio! The environmentalist in me was stoked about Evergroove because it's solar powered, and I still think that's REALLY cool. Here's a photo of Evergroove.
So here I was with some meager equipment, but meeting some really cool Colorado contacts. Things were looking up, and even though I had a long way to go before I could match what these guys had, I was glad to be considered a player in the game of the Colorado music scene.
But then I moved back to Ohio when Sarah got a job in Richwood. I came here with a dedication to make Skyline Sound Studios something grand in the Buckeye state, and I'm still trying to make that happen. But when I landed here, the flow of clients I had obviously ground to a halt. The first session I had in Ohio was a blues band called Breadwagon, who were really cool to hang with. We spent 7 hours recording and mixing a really cool demo. Here's a video I shot that day.
But Skyline was still limited to just a spare bedroom of the house Sarah and I rented. We rented a house an hour north of my target market, which made getting clients a bit challenging. And then my ensuing personal financial crisis that occurred after Sarah left meant that I was stranded in Marion until my finances improved. So I decided to make the best of it. I spread the studio around the house, and now I had more space than Bob Swanson or Brad Smalling. The difference is it's in a house, not a professionally treated studio environment. But at least now I had a place finally all to myself to put my studio full time.
You see, before Sarah moved out my recording sessions would happen remotely. I'd pack up my gear and take it to the clients rehearsal space to do the recording, then bring the tracks back to "home base" to do the mixing. My current client Enemy By Mourning got this treatment in Ohio, as their first demo was rush-tracked in the band's rehearsal space. Here's a video of that session.
Again, this was just a demo, but it helped the band gain a footing in the central Ohio scene, which did help bring me a couple of clients. I know that Liquid Ghandi came in after hearing what I did for EBM on their demo.
When The Blitz wouldn't play EBM's demo on local stuff, I wasn't surprised. It was a rush job, and they wanted it that way. It was just a good sounding quick and dirty demo from the start. So we started planning out a way to get them something that did sound radio quality for airplay on The Blitz. We decided to use Electronic Drums I had acquired as a midi recorder and run the midi through Steven Slate Drums to get the drum sounds without the room playing a factor. I also upgraded my gear from Adobe Audition 1.5 to Pro Tools 9 on a brand new 27" iMac!
Now it was time to play the game. We buckled down and pumped out a mix that was successful in getting them airplay, and quite frankly it was one of the best things I'd recorded. I was uber proud of myself.
And now not only had my gear selection grown, but my abilities had grown thanks to the amount of space I had in the house to dedicate to the studio. Here's a pic of the live room in the current studio.
Not much has changed since then, as I've decided to focus any money coming in from Skyline toward my debts to reduce my insolvency. But more upgrades are in the works very soon. I'm going to switch back to using studio revenues for the betterment of the studio very soon. But the current set-up works very well for me and is proof that it's not the gear, it's the engineer. I've spent a lot of time over the last year honing my skills. Here's some of the fruits of those labors.
So I've come a good way in a couple of years considering the limited amount of time I have to put into things, and the amount of resources I have. It's been a ghettophoenic experience from the ground up. But I have places I wanna take it, and I'm working every day to make that happen. For example, let's look at Swanpro Studios and Evergroove Studios, then compare that with where I am gear wise…..
It's NOT the gear, it's the engineer. But being a quality engineer with the high end shit = living the dream. So I'm working toward it. Meanwhile, I just hope that people will judge my product, and not my gear. Because, again, it's NOT THE GEAR. It's the engineer. But I can honestly say that without podcasts (IHR, PSN, HRO, HRS, Sessions With Slau, Ronan's Recording Show…..to name a few), or the help of the engineers I've met guiding me through and giving me advice (Bob Swanson, Brad Smalling, Dave Piatek, to name a few…..), I'd not be where I am now. Two years ago, I'd have KILLED for what I have now, so it's all in perspective. But this isn't the end of the line. I wanna move Skyline out of the house and into it's own facility. I wanna make it a major player in the Columbus music scene, because my mixing skills have been proven to be competitive (Nuber on The Blitz is a tough cookie). So hopefully within the 5 years I have allocated for my 5 year goal, I'll be able to transition from where I am now to something more like one of these.
……and my blog will come along for the ride. Stay tuned.
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