IT'S NOT CANCER!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow. This week has put me through the ringer……

....in other words…… IT SUCKED!

But the good news is that I'm back to worrying about lesser things, and I feel that I can get a new perspective on my priorities.

More on that later though. I plan on doing a blog post after I've had some time to sort through some of the emotional hell this has put me through, but right now I want to discuss the days events. Here's an update after today's Gastroscopy procedure.

Quick recap…..I went after having some severe abdominal pain, similar to having rocks moving through my intestines. Laura was worried that it may be an ulcer, or something worse, so I called off work and went to a general practitioner to get checked out. They recommended that I have a "scope" done to see what the extent of the damage from my acid reflux was. The ER had recommended the same thing, so I bit the uber-expensive bullet and scheduled the procedure.

It all took place today. I found out yesterday that they were going to actually put me under during the procedure, so I'd sleep through it. I'd never been put under, so I was a bit nervous about that, cause I know that sometimes on rare occasions you don't wake up from being anesthetized. But otherwise, I was glad I'd be asleep, cause the thought of having a large tube shoved down my throat while I'm wide awake just didn't suit me too well.

I was also nervous about what they'd find. I'll admit that I was somewhat nervous that they'd nick a blood vessel while they were inside and I'd have internal bleeding that would go un-noticed……..(I'm a bit of a medical wimp, ok…). So I was just not in a great place. I was nervous and anxious, and it took me removing myself from it all to be able to go through with it.

So Laura and I were at the Marion Area Health Center. I get called back in to get prepped. Understand that I HATE NEEDLES! The nurse was prepping me and tried to stick my right hand. She got the vein, but didn't tap it right, so she called someone else in to do it. The other hand got the needle instead. I swear, every time I get a needle, they always seem to have to poke me twice! WTF?!

Anyway, so they describe the procedure to me. Evidently, the plan was to heavily sedate me, do the procedure, and let me recover in the hospital room. They were going to numb my throat with a heavy duty spray that tasted like rotten ass dipped in battery acid. I had to swallow this crap!? Ew! The reason for the numbing was to suppress my gag reflex. Hmm, almost irony….in order to suppress my gag reflex, they made me wanna excursive it?!

It's hard to recall it right now, cause I'm still groggy from the anesthetic. But from what I recall, the nurse who administered the spray then leaned over me to inject the anesthetic into my IV. At this same time, another nurse put a big block in my mouth that was to hold my mouth open for the scope. I remember them putting that block in my mouth, leaning my head back, and then blacking out. It was weird.

I have no idea how long it took, but when they were done, I woke up in the hospital room with Laura beside me. I can't really remember much of it clearly, cause I was still heavily sedated. I couldn't even walk straight, and had to be taken to the car by wheelchair. They told me their findings:

They saw no signs of cancer, and no signs of Barrett's Esophagus. This is good news on both fronts, cause if I had Barrett's Esophagus, I'd have to be re-scoped once a year so they could search for cancer. Also, if either of these conditions existed, I would wonder what would happen to my fledgeling singing career (not that performing is the most important thing, but i'd rather not lose my voice if I don't have to…). They did see some inflammation in the esophagus and stomach, and gave me some lovely pictures of my insides!



I'd say that's more than just inflammation. Laura said "it looks pissed off!" lol! To contrast, here's what it SHOULD look like.....



So it looks like I'd just been having some major inflammation issues thanks to the Acid Reflux! They did take a biopsy, and will be testing it for any bacteria that can cause the inflammation. I go in on Monday to get the results of this and discuss it with my doctor. If it's the bacteria, my understanding is that it's totally treatable and may help rid me of my acid reflux! We'll see!

So I went home, and ordered a pizza. I hadn't eaten in 18+ hours, and I was hungry damn it! Besides, it was good news, I was up for a celebration! After eating, still groggy as hell, I passed out. I've been in and out all day. I woke up around 7:30 this evening, and I was feeling groggy and somewhat nauseous. I kinda feel like my ass has been kicked by some bad cold.

I feel like I wanna say more about all this, adding in some witty quips…..but quite frankly I'm still somewhat air headed from the anesthetic. So just know that it looks like I'm ok, and whatever is happening is totally treatable. I'd rather rack up some uninsured medical debt and know that I'll live than to hold off on the test and not have caught some quick moving cancer.

Anyway, all of this has rededicated me to a lot of things. I'll post about them when I'm more clear headed. But i feel like I've been made to think about the worst case scenario, and now that it's good news, I'm ready to focus and use the time I do have in front of me to take myself as far as i can go as quickly as possible. Fuck the 5 year plan, what if I can make it happen in 2? lol! We'll see!

Thanks for reading.