Motivation

I'm sitting here at the studio, and am watching "Ride The  Divide", which is the film that inspired me to ride the great divide trail before I turn 40. I'm drinking my coffee, and watching the footage of the mountains, and thinking positively about my future. It makes me want to just kick ass and focus only on what will benefit me and my family.

I've had some confidence hits recently. But I've had events that gave me faith too. The confidence hits were caused by a lull in clients at the studio, but those things are going to happen. It's a cyclical business, and I can't let that get me down. But there's another thing that's had me acting somewhat irrationally. There was a studio in Columbus that had name recognition, and they had to close down a few years ago. They are re-opening in the building LITERALLY right behind my studio. I'll have a competitor 50 feet from my front door! That's a bit nerve wracking, but if I take the proximity of our studios out of the picture, the proximity doesn't matter in the least. If he were 50 feet or 20 miles, he'd still be another local option that I'd have to compete with. This guy's been in the game longer, has a local contact list, has name recognition, and can out-gear me any day of the week.

So those two issues have had a big hit on my confidence. But I need to get over that and move on. To help me regroup, I've been working hard on some promotional efforts. I've been going to shows every weekend, which is something I'd been not focusing on. I've been making new materials with viral sharing in mind. I've been working on my social presence online. I've even painstakingly been trying to improve my skills in every way I can so that I can compete with ALL of the local competition with ease. This has included lots of feedback from other engineers who aren't in my local market, and their input has been invaluable in helping me get better as quickly as I can. I've even been focusing on diversifying my product line so that I can offer something to folks who may not need recording or mixing services. I'm going to explore the opportunity to get into Audio Post work.

What I've learned about myself from the above is that even if I face something that seems bleak, and even if I let the stress get to me (which happened HARDCORE over the last couple of weeks), I always seem to find my way back to the positive place I need to be in order to move forward.

I've also learned that I have a rock to lean on when things seem bleak. Laura has been the most wonderful presence in my life, and has gone to extraordinary measures for the sake of our happiness and to feed the hunger in my soul. Without her, the bleak times would be even bleaker, and I find myself needing her grace more and more every day.

In fact, Laura helped me achieve something that I needed very much for the sake of the wounds my soul suffered upon my departure from the Colorado Rockies in 2010. We planned to make it out there this summer, and it was there that I planned to propose to her, but it didn't look possible due to financial reasons. Because of that, I took her to the Great Smoky Mountains, and it was there that she agreed to spend the rest of her life with me as my wife.  That day, she made me the happiest I've ever been in my life. The high lasted for days for me.

My heart still yearned for the west, however. It was very distressing that I didn't believe I could make it out there again, even after plans to go had to be cancelled. But in the middle of the summer, Laura suggested that we make a trip to Denver work somehow, and in August we hit the road for my first trip west in over two years.

Upon seeing the mountains for the first time, I felt like I was at home again. Being able to show Laura all the amazing sights that I had fallen in love with so hard meant the world to me. I broke down crying as I showed her the view from atop Conifer Mountain, which is where I used to live. I broke down crying again when she told me on our way to the San Luis Valley that she felt very at home there and could see living there with me very easily. It was an extremely medicinal experience for the part of my soul that was damaged by my departure from the Rocky Mountains. Laura and I visited our fourth national park, the Great Sand Dunes National Park, and it was by far the most fun park either of us have ever been too. She handled the altitude much better than I anticipated, considering her athsma, and even was able to handle the 14,000 foot ascent up Mount Evans before getting irritable due to the altitude.

Being able to see my mountains again, and to see the land that I love with every fiber of my soul, and to share it with the woman who has inspired the largest soul searching transformation I've ever undergone…..it was an extremely rehabilitative experience.


I've found myself not missing the mountains at any great extent since our trip. Laura speculated that I needed the trip to prove that I could make it out there again, and I think she was right. The trip helped us grow even closer than we already are, and made both of us think about our future together and with our daughters Lotus and Celest. It made me extremely confident about every aspect of my future. I still yearn to be there, amongst the great beauty of the west, but I think being there with Laura helped me make peace with my separation and bought me time and sanity.

As I write this blog post, I reflect on the events of the last two months. I see one constant. Laura. When I need strength, she does what she can to feed my soul. When I'm feeling on top, she's there to celebrate my victories and give further encouragement. Laura is my rock. Without her, I know my journey would be a difficult one.

Laura, thank you for constantly being a source of inspiration to me, and a reason for me to keep fighting. Thank you for keeping me grounded, and thank you for helping me keep moving on. I love you more each and every day.

 

National Parks

Lotus and Celest, my daughters to be, were born on June 21st 14 years ago. Knowing how much I love to travel, Laura suggested that we take the girls on a vacation for their 14th birthday this year. It was decided that we would spend a few days and head to Washington D.C., stopping in Virginia to see Shenandoah National Park along the way.

The girls have never had a trip this long. Their autism can make traveling a little challenging. So this will be an experiment to see how well they do on a trip of this length. But the girls love going on trips, and can get quite excited by the anticipation of a trip. A few months ago, Laura wanted to take them to the Newport Aquarium. Celest begged for an entire weekend to go to the aquarium after hearing of the plan. When we arrived at the aquarium, Celest and Lotus were both ecstatic!

The chance to take the girls on their first long vacation makes me happy. The fact that we're essentially going on a giant National Park Service tour thrills me! If you read this blog, you know I love the parks. Before Laura, I'd been to Yellowstone, Grand Teton, Rocky Mountain, Arches, Grand Canyon, Cuyahoga Valley, and a few national historical sites and monuments. Since then, I've begun collecting parks with Laura. We've been to Cuyahoga Valley, and Great Smoky Mountains. We got engaged at Great Smoky Mountains N.P., and have been taking photos of ourselves by the entrance signs of the parks since then (even though we only have two parks under our belts).

So the chance to collect our third park together with the girls in tow, and see Shenandoah National Park as a family altogether for the first time, makes me quite happy. I plan to get a photo of us all together by the entrance sign if possible. We plan to head from Columbus to the southern end of Shenandoah N.P. From there, we'll drive through the park along Skyline Drive as well take in the views.

After that, we spend the night nearby before embarking to Washington D.C. the next day. Washington D.C. is a mecca of the park system, as the park system also includes many historical sites and monuments. Driving and walking tours of the nations capitol are in order, and many photos will be taken! I'm excited about Washington D.C., I've never been. I'm admittedly more excited about Shenandoah, but I've always wanted to go and see the national mall and the Lincoln Memorial.

About a week or two ago, Laura told Celest that we were going to go on vacation at the end of June. She told her we were going to Washington, and since then Celest has been yelling to go on vacation to Washington. I let it slip last week that we were also stopping at a national park, and this doubled her joy! She's been yelling for a national park all week, and for vacation! Every time she yells for a national park, I get a huge grin on my face.

I'll discuss the trip, including photos, when we return.

Where next?

Laura and I crossed our second National Park together off of our lists today. We've so far hit Cuyahoga Valley National Park and Great Smoky Mountains National Park. Now we're on our hunt for the next park on our list. We've got two that we're looking at, and the goal is to hit at least one of them at some point this year.

- Mammoth Cave National Park

This park is only about 5-6 hours from Laura's house in Columbus, and for that reason may be our next park. Plus, it would be a park that I haven't been to before, so we'd be both experiencing it together for the first time. Because of it's close proximity, it may only take two full gas tanks to get there and back. If we're eating from a cooler and car camping, this should be a snap.

- Shenandoah National Park

This would be a longer trek, at about 7.5 hours via car. This would also be a first visit for both of us, and the views from Skyline Drive are reputed to be some of the most stunning scenery this side of the Mississippi. I'd love to go hiking in the area as well, as trail hopping with Laura is now one of my favorite things to do.

- Great Smoky Mountains National Park

Ok, yeah, we've been here. But there's a chance my family will reconvene in July in Atlanta, and if Laura goes with me I can see no reason not to stop in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park again with her this summer. Maybe we'll get warmer temperatures, get to see some elk, and do a little hiking? Who knows?

At any rate, at the moment I think it's best to focus on two or three to cross off the list. This may be refined as times goes on, but I feel that Mammoth Cave National Park and Shenandoah National Park are two excellent starting points within reach at some point this year.

Hiking Cuyahoga Valley National Park

Laura and I will be hiking in Cuyahoga Valley National Park tomorrow. This is the closest park to my home in Marion, and although it's one of my least favorite, I'm still glad it was preserved. If you look at it from above, you'll see that it was the last remaining woodlands in the area and was nearly wiped out by development.

I will be talking to the park rangers about my Grand Canyon Petition. This won't be the main focus of the trip, which is more of a day trip so Laura and I can go hiking and mark our second National Park in our passports. However, if it hadn't been developed as much as it was, Ohio would've been a beautiful state. So perhaps it's fitting that I visit Cuyahoga Valley National Park while fighting to keep the Confluence area of the Grand Canyon preserved. I mean, by the time we preserved the Grand Canyon as a national park, there was a Navajo reservation on the eastern edge of it to protect that part from private hands, and the rest of the country was still developing westward. The canyon was grabbed before the great westward push was completed. It's sad that now the Navajo Nation is trying to develop the part of it that borders their land, especially when so many are against it. I mean, if you look at Savetheconfluence.com, you'll see many in the Native American community who are against the proposed developments in the Confluence Area of the Grand Canyon.



But being in Cuyahoga Valley National Park, where the development nearly wiped it out, will likely strengthen my resolve to keep fighting for the Canyon. I mean, look at it. There aren't many places in Ohio left where you can go to walk through a meadow as it used to be. There aren't many places in Ohio where you can see Bald Eagles nesting. A freeway, a golf course, and a concert amphitheater are all within the park's borders, which mar the potential this area would've had if it had been set aside earlier. But if not for those who wanted to preserve it, we wouldn't even have this park in my back yard.


Anyway, my personal mission aside, I'm looking forward to this trip. It'll be great to get out and spend a day hiking with Laura, and it'll be great to cross our second park together off our list. I remember after I proposed to Laura, and we had walked up to Clingman's Dome in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park, we sat in the car and looked at the maps of all the parks in the country we got from the visitors center. I was thrilled that she seemed excited to be crossing parks off our list together. We sat there in the car, our passports stamped from our first joint park visit, and talked about which parks we'd like to visit. It's a memory I cherish, and I cherish the ability to make these new memories with Laura at the parks!

So I'll be posting pics and reporting back. Stay tuned.

Why I'm fighting to preserve The Grand Canyon.

4 days ago, Laura posted an article on my Facebook wall about a National Park. She does this from time to time, knowing how much I love the parks, but she knew ahead of time that this was not going to be one that I enjoyed reading. This one's headline read "Navajo Nation eyes Grand Canyon for development".



My heart raced, my jaw dropped, and I went straight to youtube before I even finished reading the article. Here was my instant reaction, which I made to help rally people in supporting what I see as a fight to stop this development.



When I caught up with Laura online, I think it was her who suggested going to Change.org to start a petition. I did exactly that, and set up the petition to go to several parties. Those parties include The Navajo Nation, Arizona politicians, the US House and Senate, and the President Of The United States.

So why am I fighting?

The answer is simple. I don't wanna see this…………
















.........turn into this…………….



Stone Mountain





Pigeon Forge



Niagra



Vail



"These temple-destroyers, devotees of ravaging commercialism, seem to have a perfect contempt for Nature, and instead of lifting their eyes to the God of the mountains, lift them to the Almighty Dollar." - John Muir.

"Leave it as it is. You can not improve on it. The ages have been at work on it, and man can only mar it." - Theodore Roosevelt, as he stood at the rim of the Grand Canyon.

I fight because I hate touristy towns, I hate gaudy money traps designed to further the status of a few by exploiting the beauty that should remain unmarred for the enjoyment of the many. I fight because to see the Grand Canyon defiled by a "gondola, a restaurant, a half-mile river walk, a resort hotel and spa and RV park" would be akin to painting a mustache on the face of the Mona Lisa.



The Grand Canyon, and Nature as a whole, is a vast work of art that we cannot improve! We can only exploit it for our own commercial gain, which then leaves the following generations wishing we'd left if be so they could enjoy it's peace and serenity.

I also fight this for other damaging reasons. It's bad enough that the developments would be ugly, but bringing tourism to the Grand Canyon on that scale driven by the almighty dollar would cause irreparable harm to the ecosystems within the Canyon. Let's explain.



The Colorado River flows from East to West through the Canyon. The Navajo developments would be on the eastern edge of the Canyon, so any contaminants from tourists would directly affect the canyon itself. Imagine camping in the heart of the canyon by the shores of the Colorado and seeing garbage debris floating by? Imagine what contaminants you CAN'T see wearing away at the rocks and killing the species that live in the Canyon.

There's too much risk that I can see for me to sit by and let this happen without a fight. I may lose this fight, but I will not give up. I value these wild places so much more than developed tourist traps because they provide peace, serenity, calm, clarity, relief, fuel for the soul, and a sense of rebirth. Seeing what wonders awaited in the American West instilled a sense of pride that we could have such landscapes in our midst, and a sense of duty to protect them.

Fortunately, I'm not alone. I started a petition, which I linked above, but I'll post it again for good measure…..

http://www.change.org/petitions/the-president-of-the-united-states-stop-plans-to-develop-the-grand-canyon

As of this blog post, there are 88 signatures, including mine. My goal is for as many as possible, I've capped it at 1,000,000. I've got a long way to go. Fortunately, some Native Americans in the west who are much closer to the canyon than I am have taken this petition and shared it online. I've had signatures from across the country, which is flattering. I'm not looking for glory with this fight, but some are sharing it and mentioning me by name. It's flattering, and very touching, but the important part is that the petition is being shared, and signed, across the country.



It's been shared on Facebook, twitter, and on SaveTheConfluence.com. When I found the Save The Confluence website, I saw that there were many who opposed this as much as I did. Some Native Americans have found me on Facebook and added me or followed my feed. On the Facebok Page for Save The Confluence, it shows where people have shared the link to the petition. As word gets around, I can see this spreading, and I'm humbled and flattered by this.

This fight is one I am passionate about. I do not want one of our most beautiful natural treasures to fall victim to the almighty dollar. I do not want to have the Grand Canyon be segmented off into two areas (The Beautiful part, and the Touristy part). I do not want the history of the Grand Canyon to be written in terms of "Before the development" and "After the Development".

I want people to remember John Muir's fight to save the Hetch Hetchy Valley in Yosemite. He lost, but it was a valuable lesson when we realized WHAT we lost.

Hetch Hetchy Before it was flooded.....



Hetch Hetchy AFTER it was flooded.....



"Dam Hetch Hetchy! As well dam for water-tanks the people's cathedrals and churches, for no holier temple has ever been consecrated by the heart of man." - John Muir.

Please, sign my petition, and find another way to fight. We must protect these lands for the many by keeping them from being profitable by the few. These are OUR lands. This is OUR Country. Whether you're Native American, or your ancestors migrated here, this country AND this canyon belong to ALL of us!

Leave it be.

Life, worries, and why it's worth it.

There's a lot I feel the need to say in this blog. It could be more like a mini-novel. Just a warning.

My last blog indicated that there were big things that happened in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. That's right, and it's good news. On our trip back from Atlanta, we went to see the Smokies. I found a secluded place we could pull off and have to ourselves, which had a lot of stunning mountain views. I then took Laura down to a spot out of sight of the road.

It was there that I proposed. She said yes!



Let's explain what had happened. You see, ever since my cancer scare last October, I began examining my life and what I wanted out of it in a very in depth way. I decided that I couldn't live my life without Laura, and that led me to examine what I wanted out of our relationship. There were a lot of heavy things I had to consider, including her two children with special needs. I mean, if I wanted her in my life forever, would I be able to step in and care for two special needs teenagers when I never wanted to kids to begin with?

I knew after last October's cancer scare what was in my heart. But my head wanted me to be absolutely sure, which is why I started trying to be a presence in the girl's lives. After all, if I were to take that plunge, I'd then be responsible for them. After some soul searching, I realized that I had the desire to make it work out. I began to make efforts to spend some time here and there with the girls to get to know them. Celest now asks to go to my house, despite the fact that it's a 60 mile drive, because she loves my electronic drum set. Lotus seems to enjoy it as well, but not nearly as much as Celest. I've grown to love both of them, and want nothing but the best for them. Part of me wishes that I were in a better financial state at 31 years old, so that I could be better equipped to take care of them. Suffice it to say, I realized that I could lay it all on the line for Lotus and Celest, and that they are a part of the woman that I love.

Once I was absolutely sure, the plan was to take Laura to Colorado in June. We even set a date for the trip. Knowing what I was planning, I started dropping hints to myself in my blog so that I could look back on it fondly and point out to her where I had foreshadowed my proposal ("I'll just say this. It's going to be a trip that won't be forgotten."). I was going to buy a ring and pay for our vacation, all with my tax return, while continuing to dig myself out of the financial hole with my day job pay.

My plan was to get Laura to fall in love with the Rockies by driving her to all the wonderful sights I knew of. These included at least two national parks (Great Sand Dunes NP and Rocky Mountain NP at minimum), a drive through the San Luis Valley that makes my heart sing so much, and a drive up to the summit of Mount Evans. As much as I was feeling a need to be in the mountains again all the way to the bottom of my soul, I felt it only fitting that when I tell Laura how I really felt deep down, that it be in an area that meant something to me. If I were with the woman that I loved in the place that I loved, all would be right with the world for that moment and my proposal would mean more to me. So the plan was to ask her to marry me on the summit of Mount Evans.

But that plan was derailed when I was laid off on February 1st. I no longer knew whether or not I would be able to afford the trip, let alone rent. Not knowing that I'll be able to afford my Colorado trip in June really broke my heart, especially since I was planning something of this magnitude to take place during that trip. But in many ways, I feel that my job loss was a blessing. That, however, is a different blog post.

Laura and I had planned a trip to Atlanta during spring break after I went to Atlanta to visit family last Thanksgiving. I took a trip through the Great Smoky Mountains NP on my way back to Ohio on that trip, and fell in love with that park. Though it wasn't the same as being in Colorado, it was close enough to provide solace to my yearning for a mountainous landscape. When I feel the call, it's only 7 hours away. We planned this trip before I lost my job, but since I realized that I was going to be ok financially thanks to steps I took after my last job loss, we made the trip. I mean, it would cost about 3.5 tanks of gas, and room and board were provided by family. It's a quick, easy, cheap way to get away.

I had tossed around the idea of proposing to Laura on the trip to Atlanta while in the Smokies. After all, I couldn't' guarantee that I could make it to Colorado like I had hoped. How long was I going to wait? The urge to pop the question kept brewing up in me, and I almost asked on several occasions where the moment seemed right. But I held off, cause I'm a bit girly at times and didn't want to let go of my mountain proposal. But I really was fighting with myself deciding whether to compromise for the Smokies, or wait for a trip that may not happen this year.

About two weeks ago, I had an epiphany that made my decision clear. We don't have very long on this earth. It was one of those moments that really makes that fact hit you to the core, even though you already are aware of that fact. Nothing happened to trigger it, rather it was a sudden random realization. We don't have long on this planet, and all the money and material bullshit is just bullshit. The important things in life are who you spend it with and that you grab what you want now instead of waiting. There may not be a tomorrow, so get it now and value it. So that's what I decided to do. I would propose in the Smokies.

Saturday morning in Atlanta, before Laura and I went to Stone Mountain, my aunt is cutting my hair and starts asking me about Laura. She asks if I'm happy, then asks if I'm gonna propose. When I answered yes, this was like the first acknowledgement of this fact to anyone in person. I'd had chats with a friend in Indiana (thanks Kyle) about it, but this was my first vocalization of it to another person. This made it more real, but it didn't change my mind. It was a good acknowledgment to make to myself, and cemented my goal of doing it on that trip.

My aunt freaked out, and started getting really girly. When I told Cheryl that I didn't have a ring to give Laura, she whisked me up to her jewelry collection and started looking for a ring to give me as an heirloom. She then found a sneaky way of getting Laura's ring size, which luckily was really close to her own size. So Cheryl found a ring, cleaned it, and put it in a box. I hid it in my laundry, then my aunt and uncle prayed for a long healthy marriage.

When Laura and I took off for Stone Mountain, Cheryl made reservations at a nice, albeit expensive, Italian restaurant. She insisted that they break their rule of not reserving specific tables because she wanted to get us this nice corner table with a view. I think it was named ""Tuscany", and was only a few miles from their home in Woodstock Georgia. Cheryl was hoping I'd propose at the restaurant in front of her, which was out of the question because I wanted it to be a more personal intimate proposal, but this is why Cheryl went through all the trouble to get the perfect table and make a nice evening for us. I appreciate it, and it was a great gesture, it just wasn't how I wanted to do it.

That night, I couldn't sleep. Something Rick had said while praying for our union stuck in my head, and made me briefly re-examine. He prayed that I'd have the strength to be a father to her children. This brought up my fear of not being able to provide for them, and made me question whether it was the right time. But as I lie there next to her, I'd look at her and those fears were put to rest. I would find a way to make it work…..because it's worth it.

So after only 5 hours of sleep, I wake up at 5 am and start packing to leave for the Smokies. By 6:30, we were in the car and on our way. By almost 10 am, we were in the park. This was a big deal to me on another level because this was Laura's first trip to a national park. I wanted it to really impress. We entered on the North Carolina side near Cherokee. Not far into the park, we found a visitor center with memorabilia and park rangers. I bought a couple of shirts for Laura's kids, then bought a magnet from the park to commemorate the trip. I had a collection of magnets from parks that I'd visited previously in my last relationship, but she took them when she moved out. Laura and I decided to start our own collection to commemorate our travels to the parks. So we bought our first national park magnet, which is now on my fridge.



While in the park, we also bought National Park Passports that we can have stamped as we "collect" our parks together. They are kept in my car, and have a date stamp for the date we went to our first park together.

We found out that due to the unusually warm winter, they opened the lookout on Clingman's dome early for the season. That very day was the first day it was open for the season, though it normally is closed till April 1st. So we embarked on our trip up the park road. As we started climbing through the switchbacks looking at mountain vistas and feeling in awe of the landscapes that surrounded me, I could feel that it was right. I was gonna do it, and nothing was gonna stop me. So I found a pull off with an amazing panorama. Fortunately it was early in the day so there weren't many tourists on the park service road, and the pull off I found was empty other than our car.

I remembered this spot specifically because this was the only place in the park I could get reception on my phone. I called Laura from this spot on my last trip through the park last November to tell her how much i wished she were there because it was so amazingly beautiful. I actually thought to myself last November that this spot would make a great place for the proposal if Colorado doesn't work out for some reason.

And 4 months later, I have Laura in that spot. I take her by the hand, and lead her down a little path into the foliage. We were alone, even if someone pulled into the parking lot above. It was here that I let it out.

I had rehearsed this about 50 times in my head, but when it came down to THE moment, my brain stopped wanting to work. So I stuck with the cliffnotes. lol.

When I told her how I felt, and that I couldn't imagine anything in my life being the same without her in it, I then asked her to marry me. This clearly caught her off guard, cause she seemed stunned, but after a half second pause (which seemed like an eternity to me…..), she said yes.

The rest of the trip in the park seemed to be that much more awesome because of this amazing connection that had been made. I do feel like we connected on such a deeper level because of it, and that feeling persists now. I can feel it now very strongly despite our 60 mile distance from each other at this moment. We drove through the rest of the park seeing the sights with a visible glow about us.



I feel that this has brought us closer in a lot of ways. I couldn't be happier that she said yes. Having done it, I'm glad I didn't wait for what my head told me was the right moment (i.e. Colorado), because it's not about knowing what you want and waiting for it to happen. It's about knowing what you want and going for it when you want it. I wanted my engagement ring on her finger, and I didn't want to wait any longer to ask if I could put it there.

And although I'm extremely happy about the fact that it's happened, late at night I sit up anxiously worrying about getting my shit in order. I mean, I now will have to be a provider not just for myself, but for 3 other people. I'm not going to back out of this, that's not what my anxiousness is about. I am however terrified. I'm 31, I don't have anything to offer except a wing and a prayer, and I'm taking on responsibility for other human beings who will be completely dependent on me and Laura.

In other words, if I fail now, I'm not the only one who goes under. Things were easier in my previous relationship, because not as much was on the line and I hadn't matured enough yet to really give a damn about money and our future. This is one thing I feel tore that relationship apart. What if I can't get my shit together now? Much more is on the line now.

I came back to Ohio with an extreme can-do attitude. But when I woke up the next morning I started feeling the first real waves of fear. But I imagine most new fathers feel this fear when they find out they will be responsible for another person. I'm just feeling it for the first time at 31, and they aren't even my kids. That doesn't mean I won't do everything I can for them as though they were my kids, but feeling that fear of the "what if" makes me feel kinda numb and disconnected when I'm by myself.

I'm trying to keep my feelings and emotions in check so that nothing builds up inside, so before going to bed I explored myself and found this wall of fear. Laura and I have talked about this already, and I didn't wanna wake her up with it, so I turned to the blog. But what started as a quick explanation of the fear I was feeling has taken me 90 minutes to write.

I do feel better after writing it, and I do look forward to many happy and healthy years ahead with my future wife. She's such an amazing woman, and she gives me strength to make myself a better person. But I know that if I never amount to anything, she'll still love me just the same. It's a wonderful feeling to know that to the very core of yourself. I couldn't ask for a better best friend and companion to share my life with. I look forward to many travels and life experiences, and I look forward to the good times and the bad. I want it all, as long as she's with me for it all.



I love you Laura.

What a weekend…

Since last fall after returning from my family's home in Atlanta, I decided that I would take a trip down there with Laura during spring break. That trip happened this weekend. I left at 7:30 Friday morning from Marion, picked Laura up at 8:30 in Columbus, and we were on our way.

This was a big deal for me, cause it was the first road trip with Laura that would be of a greater distance than 100 miles one way. I love to travel, and she'd never been further south than Kentucky. I keep a tally of the states I've been too, so I was giddy at the chance to add states to her tally this weekend (whether she really cared or not…lol).

Driving through southern Kentucky we hit some major rain. We were looking for a place to pull over and eat, but decided to wait till we got to Tennessee because of the rain. When we got to Tennessee, it was cloudy, but not raining. So we sat to eat, but as we finished the rain we ran from in Kentucky found us. So we hit the road to get out of a heavy wet pummeling yet again. Stopping at a gas station south of Knoxville, we found ourselves facing another storm front head on. This one was more intense with lots of lightning. I got some really cool cloud pics around Riceville before all hell broke loose.







We got into Georgia, and hit my Uncle's house in Woodstock around 6:20pm. Some nervous small talk, some dinner on the grill, and a beer or two, then before you know it the conversations were flowing like water. We had a good time, and talked about a lot of things before they settled off for bed. Laura and I went to a nearby Walmart to buy me some tennis shoes, as I knew I'd want to do some hiking on this trip and my only pair were in disrepair. It's a real challenge to find a pair of 11 1/2 wides at Walmart at 10:00 at night, so I found a pair of 12 wides that fit really well and only cost $15. Not bad. They'd be put to the test the next day.

We woke up early, around 9 or so and wend down for breakfast. Rick & Cheryl had bought a new fridge and were going to stay behind while it was installed, so Laura and I made plans to head up to Stone Mountain and hike up the side. Around 2:00 we were in the car heading to Stone Mountain, and when we got there it was really hot out. Imagine walking up a granite slab that ascends 900 feet up with the Georgia sun beating down on my balding head. I got a mild sunburn, but it was worth it.

After about 30 minutes of tiresome walking, we arrived up on the summit of Stone Mountain. There were tons of people there, which turned me off to it a bit. I like nature, and feel that Stone Mountain should've been turned into a National Monument rather than a tourist trap, but it's too late for that now. There's a cable car lift that takes you to the top, a gift shop with soda machines priced at $3.25-bottle, and a major Amusement Park feel to the whole area. I liked this when i was a kid, but I'm not a kid anymore and would much rather they preserved the mountain and made only minor human accommodations to it to allow access to it's serenity. But it's too late for that. It's already privately owned, and it is what it is. Although, if a petition were to ever circulate requesting that Stone Mountain be turned over to the NPS, I'd sign.

Anyway, there were a ton of people up there. Screaming kids, a church groups of over 100 teens playing a loud game, foreign tourists left and right snapping odd pics….not a serene environment by any stretch of the means. But I still found a few cool photos, then retreated to a far corner of the summit that was relatively uninhabited by tourism.











I laid there with Laura, enjoying the relative peace for a few minutes before a herd of small children bombarded our secluded side of the stone. Noticing we were getting close to time to head back for dinner, we decided to retreat on foot back down the side of the granite tourist magnet. My aunt Cheryl had made dinner reservations at a nice Italian restaurant, and we had to get back in time to meet them.

Dinner was awesome. There's no comparing an amazing Italian dinner to anything of this world if it's done right. The salad vinaigrette was sublime and subtle, the bread rolls kept you diving in for more, and my dinner plate had me diving in until I knew there was no force eating room left in me. I ordered the Tour of Italy, which included Linguine Alfredo, Chicken Parmesan, and Lasagna with Meat Sauce. Laura had her italian favorite, Eggplant Parmesan. I'll need to learn to cook that for her, as I've grown to really like it too.

We retreat back home so that my aunt and uncle can watch the UK game, and Laura and I retreat to our quarters to watch TV in our respective food coma's. But by the time the game was over, Cheryl approached me like a hawk with a spoonful of cinnamon. She'd mentioned the Cinnamon Challenge to me at dinner, and I'd never heard of it, so I ignorantly agreed to try it. Here's the result, for all the world to see.



NEVER TRY THAT. EW.

Anyway, that was the extent of our Atlanta trip, and I had plans to stop in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park the next day with Laura. But to do this, I had to get up around 5 am to get ready. I was on the road by 6:30 am to get to the park, and this was necessary because after leaving the park we had to drive back to Columbus Ohio. This would equate into 16 hours behind the wheel.

Big things happened at the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. There will be a separate blog post for that. But here's a hint...

The human parasite.

When you introduce a new species into an ecosystem, you can dramatically change that ecosystem in many negative ways.

In the USA, mankind's inhabitation on a mass scale is a new development. We're a new species in a once vibrant ecosystem. We've now extincted species of birds, nearly wiped out the buffalo and the wolf, and are turning our forests into habitation only fit for our species.

With this happening, we're now changing the landscape of the country. There are only a few places left that are truly untouched for the enjoyment of those who wish to see what true primitive nature is like. With over 300 parks in our National Park system, we should visit these parks. Having been to several, I strongly advise this. If you haven't been, there's no reason not to.

However, because we're always impacting our ecosystem, we should try to care for the planet we've been given. We should realize that our very presence has a major impact on the planet, and we should do what we can to preserve what we can.

Most invasive species aren't able to grasp the concept of reducing their impact. We are able to grasp that concept, and because of this we should do everything we can to reduce that impact.

I try to live my life in a way that has a limited impact. I air dry my laundry, I don't make un-necessary trips, I recycle, my house is filled with CFL bulbs…..but then this isn't enough in and of itself. No matter how little energy my CFL bulbs use, the power plants are likely burning fossil fuels to create the power that lights my house. So the burden is on the power companies to find clean ways of generating the power that I desire.

In order to strengthen my resolve to protect what we've been given, I try to visit our national parks when I can. I urge all of you who have not developed an appreciation for nature to do the same. The parks are one of the most wondrous places I've ever visited. It helps me to strengthen my resolve to protect our planet, and to reduce the impact I have on our planet.