4 Days In

I moved in with Laura and the kids on May 31st. It's now June 4th. The first day I was kinda feeling like a freeloader, but that feeling is starting to subside. I have some downtime on my hands while I'm waiting for the studio to be finished, and I can't work until then, so I'm trying to do my best to be the proverbial housewife. I've been cooking, cleaning, playing with the kids, ect. I'm pretty comfortable here at the moment.

But I know that Laura's got a lot on her plate. The studio move wouldn't be a possibility without her getting a full time job, which she has done. Being an autism mom, it's hard to keep a full time job. But now that I'm in the house, I'm trying to give her a break when I can. I hope I'll still be able to do so when I start scheduling studio clients, but we'll see what happens. I may have to set a certain set of hours and days that I'm available based on when she has to work and when her respite workers are here. We'll see.

Laura's job is in an environment where she cares for the mentally disabled. That's all I'll say here, because there are privacy concerns and that's all she's shared. But she has to play mom to two autistic teens at home, only to play caregiver to adults with similar struggles 40 hours each week. It's literally her entire life now. I admire the hell out of her, and I try to be strong and understanding when she gets stressed.

Being a woman in her position is going to be stressful. I'm in awe of her patience, and try to be the same way with the kids. I try to cut her a break on the housework, which seems to be endless with the girls thanks to autism, and try to give her what she had with me at my house in Marion…..a break.

Now that I live here, she has nowhere to go to get away from the house and decompress. Not that she doesn't love the kids, but you have to have some me time too. So I'm doing what I can to give that to her. After helping with the girls all afternoon and taking them grocery shopping with her, I could see that she was getting frustrated. She normally sleeps in the main room in case one of the girls wakes up in the night and decides to become active. The girls need 24-7 supervision, so Laura sleeps where she'll wake up if they get up. While I was moving my stuff in, I came in at 6:30 am with a load of stuff from Marion to find that Lotus had been awake since 1am and so had Laura. She had to work, and was exhausted, so I helped her get the girls ready for school and then helped Laura to bed for the few hours of sleep she'd get that morning.

Last night, I decided to take the couch because it was clear that Laura needed a chance to get a good night's sleep. I decided that not only would I let her sleep in the bed undisturbed, but that I'd stay up most of the night catching up on housework. I finally passed out at around 5am, but woke up at 7:30 because the girls were up and at em. School is out now, and Blaine doesn't show up till 3:00 pm. Laura had some errands to run. So I stayed up. I crashed for a few hours when Blaine got here to watch the girls.

I realize this may seem like I think I'm being this big amazing person by doing these big amazing things and that I want big amazing credit for helping this poor defenseless woman through an ordeal. That couldn't be further from the truth. I'm merely recounting what I'm doing to help the woman and family that I love. I don't want any special recognition. I'm just doing what I feel should be done for my future wife and kids.

But the alone time with the girls is giving me the chance to bond with them. I'm learning a lot of things about them that weren't so evident when I first met them. I've grown to love them, and to care about their well being. I've learned to take the challenges Autism can bring in stride, because someone has to do it.

I still want to get the studio up and running as soon as is reasonably possible. But I am enjoying the downtime with the girls. I'm no longer feeling like a freeloader, but rather like I belong here.