The future.

The future can be many things. It can be a long distant destination that is far from sight. It can be a monumental change that's just around the corner. It can be longed for, wished away, and many other things. But one thing it never will be…….certain.

The future is never certain. Will I be able to focus on my education? Will I win the lotto? Will I be able to hold down a full time job under these circumstances? Will the job get in the way of my other priorities? Will I be a success? Will I watch in horror as my dreams crash and burn?

There's no way to know what's to come. I myself am facing a very big change in the coming 6 weeks. I'm moving in with Laura, and this will pose a myriad of questions and circumstances that are scary to me. For instance:

I'll have to close the studio temporarily. Will I be able to re-open it in a timely manner in a new location?

Will I be able to adapt to living with two teenage girls with Autism?

Will I be able to find a job when I get there?

Will being close to her all the time bring us closer, or tear us apart?

The thing is…..nothing is ever certain. The only thing you can ever do is take a chance on what you know your heart wants. My heart wants this family. My heart wants to get the hell out of Marion. My heart wants to be a provider to Lotus and Celest. My heart wants to help make Laura's life easier. My heart wants Laura to always be in my life.

And so, since I know what my heart wants, the only thing that I can be assured of is the uncertainty ahead.

But since I know what my heart wants, there's no reason to hold myself back from trying to make those wants into a reality for me and my new family.