Mitt Romney's supposed Gaf

Based on the stream of people I follow on facebook, many of whom were Romney supporters prior to this video being released, it would appear that Romney is about to take it in the ass HARD this November.

Here's the video, for those who haven't yet seen it.



This video came out, and Romney essentially handed the election to Obama. I can see it in the attitudes of those who are on my facebook feed who were fervently supporting Romney just two weeks ago! One person, a friend of mine who would ALWAYS attack Obama, said after the video's release that it didn't MATTER who won, we were getting screwed either way. Funny, cause two weeks earlier you were touting for one side, and now you're giving up?

It would seem that, based on my own sampling from my facebook feed, the public opinion has turned away from Romney hardcore. Even republicans in office are saying that Romney's out of touch.

 

Everywhere I look, the attitude against Mitt Romney seems to have shifted to one of displeasure with this man who (stating my own biased opinion here) was NEVER in touch with the struggle of the everyday American.

I'm not going to use this post to talk about why Obama's so great. I'm voting for him, that's always been a given, but this was rather a reflection of how badly Mitt Romney fucked himself by not watching what he said.

Way to piss off half of the country there Mitt......oh, I meant 47% of the country!

Stress

The new studio has been up and running in Grove City for almost 3 months now. I've had several great rock bands, as well as hip hop artists, and a little bit of R&B come through my door. It's been fun.

But it's also slowing down a bit. So I'm looking into some new opportunities while things are slow, but those are hard to find in Central Ohio. I've decided to shift focus toward business audio for now, while ramping up significantly my marketing efforts by showing more of a presence in the local music scene.

Compounding things is the fact that a well established studio who had been closed for a few years is re-opening in the building literally right behind me. This has me concerned about people's perception of me and my operation, and I'm stressing out over every detail of my products overall quality level. I HAVE to be every bit as good as this guy, who can out-gear me any day of the week. Despite my fervent belief that gear doesn't make records, if you take two engineers who have good ears the client will probably choose the one with the gear.

So I've got to shift my product focus onto me, the engineer, and the value that I alone bring to the table. In order for me to be competitive in this dried up music market (hey, it's not Nashville or LA people), I have to do some PR work and increase the value of working with ME. The recording is the product overall, but what makes people come to me has to be the ME factor.

So I'm trying to improve my product in every way possible. I've been working on a mix that I recorded in the studio back in July as a tester for the new studio. I gave it to this band for free, and am now using the tracks I recorded to pull out all the stops. I've since found weaknesses in my room I've had to adapt to, which I've been able to overcome on a temporary basis. I've also found weaknesses in my workflow that I've been working to overcome thanks to the help of several of my engineer friends around the country.

But all of this has me second guessing the smallest of decisions in my mixes. I feel like I'm hitting a wall psychologically, and will have to climb over that to get back to full confidence.

Couple that with a recent head cold that clogged up my ears, which I'm only today finally recovering from, and you can see why I'm a bit stressed. Each day that goes by that I don't release this spectacular mix to the public, the neighboring studio gets closer to opening. But bouncing mixes off of several engineers while taking ear breaks for head colds takes valuable time. So I'm trying to offset that time by going to shows and networking.

I started going to shows again last weekend. I went to a show hosted by a friend of mine who runs Audiology Sound Studios, a neighboring studio. It was a charity show for his Music Is Life foundation. The line-up of the show consisted of at least one client, Bleeding Ink, as well as a large group of other artists who I was able to network with. Many of these artists I'd never seen live before, and some I'd never even heard of before. It was a great chance to network, but only one won't do it. I need a regular presence in this local scene if people are going to think of me. I need to talk to them about what I do, and I need to act fast. This will probably have to be an every-weekend venture for me. After all, you can't stop hunting, or else you'll starve.

Meanwhile, I'll be setting up a conference call with a business associate in Colorado at Swanpro Studios to go over some ways that I can get into the post audio market. Post audio production is more lucrative with more consistent work, and that is exactly what I need to make my 5 year goal a reality. At this point, I have 4.25 years to go. That's starting to not seem like a long time.

So I've got a long way to go, and a lot of work to do to get there. But now that I'm a family man, and I have two beautiful daughters counting on me, I can't rest on my laurels anymore. I must fight for my career for the sake of my family, and I need to do what it takes to psych myself up and get motivated.

In an odd way, I've turned to survival shows on Netflix as a source of motivation. Seeing people taking every measure necessary JUST to SURVIVE makes me feel blessed to have things as easy as I do, and makes me realize that the only hurdle to what I want in life is myself. It makes me realize that failure isn't so bad, because things could always be a lot worse. Even if I were homeless, it makes me realize that I'd be ok because I could find a way to make it. So that relieves some of my stress, while motivating me to continue forward toward my goals.

But it's not always easy getting over my own self-consciousness to find the motivation on the other side. I'm always worried about disappointing Laura, whom I would give my life for, and feel major guilt that I'm unable to be a better provider at this moment. But seeing her struggle so hard for our family motivates me 10 times more than anything else when I stop and think about it. She's given me everything she can, every part of her. Now it's time for me to take that and use it for the betterment of our whole family.

So to any competition that comes my way, you'd better look out. There's nothing more fearful than a determined underdog.

You can't run a business paycheck to paycheck.

Entrepreneurs don't get paid. They invest everything they can and everything they have into a venture that may not pan out, leaving them broke in the end but satisfied for having tried. But for the first two years of a business's existence, entrepreneurs generally don't get paid. They put all the revenues they earn from the business BACK INTO the business so that the business can not only pay it's current expenses, but can survive the inevitable dry spell that comes to all businesses.

A business is broken up into several financial areas. Land, Labor, Capitol, and Entrepreneurship. The entrepreneur has to furnish all of these when a business is starting, but over time if the business is successful the entrepreneur will begin to see a return on the investments they have made into the land, labor, and capitol required to start the business. The entrepreneur must find the land needed to operate the business, whether it be a warehouse or a spare garage. They must provide the labor required for the business to operate, often doing it all themselves with no help while pulling long hours and spending time away from loved ones. They must be able to acquire enough startup capitol to get the ball rolling, as you need to be able to pay for the land and the equipment required to operate.

In my case, equipment acquisition was far from overnight. I invested money, borrowed, and received gifts to acquire what I have today in the form of my studio equipment. I stayed away from credit, and own it all outright. This enables me to operate without the worry of credit payments looming at the end of each month, which allows my profit margins to be substantially higher. Not only do I owe less at the end of each month to keep the business going, but I paid zero interest on the equipment I have. This keeps my break even point as low as possible.

This doesn't mean I don't have debts. This doesn't mean I don't have bills to pay personally. I have credit cards to pay, and personal loans to repay. But I can't use any of the studios revenues for that purpose. If I were to do so, I compromise my business by stealing from it's assets. Anything that comes into the studio, I put back into the studio without exception. I have utilities and rent to pay, and will have inevitable equipment repairs and upgrades to pay for. I can't afford to wait for those things. I need to be able to take from the pool that the studio has earned and use it for the benefit of the studio.

If I were to take the money coming into the studio and use it for my own personal debts, it would seem logical to some. After all, I earned that money with my business, and I have those debts that need to be paid. But this sets me up to fail as it keeps me from investing in my business. It depletes my businesses ability to weather the inevitable dry spell. It keeps the finances of a business intertwined with my personal finances and makes book keeping a nightmare. It creates unnecessary risk that I cannot afford. If I were to take money from the studio revenues, it would be like operating my business paycheck to paycheck. To clarify the analogy, it is because I would always be worried about that next customer coming in to ensure that I could pay this bill or that bill.

At the moment, I don't take a paycheck from the studio. Every dime goes back to the studio. Every. Dime. Period. I do what I can to maintain a low overhead, and don't plan to buy anything on credit for the business unless absolutely necessary. I don't plan to upgrade equipment until it's necessary, and hopefully I'll have at least three months worth of expenses set aside before needing to make any upgrades. That way, if I make an upgrade and then face a dry spell for a few weeks, I'll be ok.

Dry spells are a part of business. Dry spells are a part of life. It's all cyclical, and depends on a million factors that none of us can foresee. I spent my 20's gambling with my financial future, and I'm done gambling. I won't life my life paycheck to paycheck anymore, and I won't operate my business in that manner either.

Update

I've been thinking. Things have turned around for me in a quite profound way. I really don't have anything I can bitch about. I'm in a very happy place, and just feel blessed to have all that I have.

I feel kinda selfish about it though, even though I'm not really doing anything selfish. I guess I feel selfish because I've accepted such charity from those I love. I kinda feel like I'm taking advantage of someone giving me everything they can for my benefit. I don't like looking at it like it's just for my benefit, I would rather think that it's for OUR benefit, and the benefit of our future and family. Of course I speak of Laura and her amazing generosity. But without her, I'd have so little. With her, I have everything I could ever ask for. I have a family, I have children, I have a loving environment to go home to. I have the support emotionally to follow my dreams. I have someone backing my play so I CAN follow my dreams. I would have NOTHING if she were not in my life today.

Literally. I believe I'd be homeless. I would have NOTHING.

Although I like to believe that the things I've received are for the benefit of the collective household, I would be lying if I didn't acknowledge that I do benefit. This makes me wonder why I deserve any of this, but I'm so happy now that I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Recently, I opened the studio. I wouldn't have the ability to have opened it at a new standalone location without her. The studio has been open for business since Monday, July 9th. I had my first booking on Wednesday, and have had one or more booking each day since then. Today, I just wrapped up a weekend with a killer band called Die Tryin. Tomorrow, I'll have a day off finally, but I still have things to do at my own leisure at the studio. So things have been booking up here. I'm booked most weekends through the beginning of August!

So I sit here and think about how long I've wanted to be able to take this plunge. I sit here in my control room after having taken the plunge, and I'm extremely proud to be where I am. It's the most wonderful feeling! But I can't take stock of what I have without thinking about why I have it.

Laura. You've given me everything. I will spend my life praising you. Thank you for everything you've given me. I love you from the bottom of my soul.

Thank you.

Colorado Calling

Today is fathers day.

Three years ago today, I was visiting Arches National Park. I remember calling my father to wish him a happy fathers day for the first time, then I called Dad and did the same. (If you haven't caught on, Father birthed me, Dad raised me). Sarah and I then spent the day rolling through Arches National Park in areas that were more difficult to access, and hence away from the choke of the Fathers Day tourists. She drove a 4WD Ford Explorer, so we could go places most couldn't. There were some really cool sights there. I'd love to go back sometime.

Olive caught a tumbleweed there. One of her more adorable moments.

Two years ago today, I was getting ready to work one of my last days at King Soopers in Evergreen as we prepared to embark on what would become my life's greatest transformation. Fearing what she saw as inevitable budget cuts at the Jefco library system, and extremely unhappy at the hands of a tyrannical boss, Sarah went on the job hunt. She landed a job that took us back to Ohio, where we grew up and met 11 years earlier. She decided to take the job, and we began packing up to move away from the land that I had grown to love with every fiber of my soul. I had no idea how much of a pull the Rockies would have on me, and I lied to myself about wanting to move back. I would've done anything for her, and that included uprooting myself every two years to move to a new location (which hindered my ability to find any stabilization in my professional life), but I was happy to do it for her.







One year ago today, everything was completely different. The mountains were gone. Sarah was gone. My sanity was gone. I began lashing out in horrible ways at those I love in ways that I will be ashamed of till the day I die. Every aspect of my life was completely different, and every aspect of my life was utter turmoil. I was struggling for studio clients, and had lost my job due to a mass layoff. I was desperately waiting for unemployment benefits, and worried that I wasn't going to make it. I began dumpster diving for scrap metal to keep food on the table and gas in my tank. I was drinking. When everything in someone's life falls away like dominoes being knocked over, it's a very trying time. This was the great transformation I mentioned above, and I fear that without it I would not be the person I am today. I'm not the person Sarah left. I'm not the person my friends in Colorado knew. I'm not the person Laura reunited with in March of last year. I'm not the person most of the people I associated with a year ago knew then. I'm a completely different individual with a completely new set of goals and priorities. When you're broken down like that and forced to rebuild from the ground up, you're not going to recognize the new structure.

Today, everything is vastly better for me than it was last year when I was going through hell. I'm emotionally stable, and I've quit drinking. I've got studio clients, and I've got a stable roof over my head. 3 months ago, I became engaged to Laura.

Laura agreed to spend the rest of her life with me after everything I've put her through. She's one of the most selfless people I've ever met, and I have infinite amounts of admiration for her strength and spirit. She helped pull me through my struggles last summer even when I tried to force her out of my life because I was confused about everything. I'm forever in her debt for not giving up on me. I'm forever in her debt for helping re-stabilize me. I'm forever in her debt for the hell I've put her through. I've never loved anyone more than I love her. And she's given me two wonderful children, her beautiful twin daughters Celest and Lotus.

Celest

Lotus

To be honest, I'm very happy here. My first custom studio facility is about to open. I'm living in Columbus with my new family, and have been finally emancipated from Marion Ohio! I've fallen in love with my step-daughters, and every time they smile my heart melts. They are beautiful little women, and I wouldn't trade them for the world.

After all I've lost, I've been able to regain traction on my life. I've found happiness and a new direction. I've replaced almost everything in my life that I had lost, and couldn't be happier.

But there's something missing.

I still think about Colorado all the time, and I still feel it's call regularly. I still long to see the beautiful panorama I took for granted every time I walked out the door. I still yearn for the cool and light mountain air. I still ache for the views that thrilled my soul every day. Witnessing immensely beautiful landscapes every day for two years that made my soul sing the praises of heaven became like a drug. Now that I'm away from anything that beautiful in nature, my soul hasn't had it's fix and is making me crazy from it's yearning.

When one gets accustomed to immense beauty that causes excitement of the body and mind, they can begin to rely on the jolt of adrenaline they receive when they are in those surroundings. When you take that away, the spirit yearns to be returned every day until the reunion happens. It's almost like weening oneself from a drug that takes a lifetime to exit the system. It won't let me go.

So here I sit, reflecting on everything that I have now, and I am truly happy here. But  these thoughts about the mountains are once again making my happiness a bittersweet engagement.

The only solution I can see is to return, even if only for a momentary visit now and then, so that I can get my fix. I sound like a meth head, but that's how strong this is. It was just validated by a friend I met in Indiana who moved to Colorado Springs in January. She told me she's falling in love with the mountains too, which shows me that it's not just me. It's a deep spiritual calling for me, and I think she's starting to feel it too based on what she said.

Jen, eat it up. See what you can. Life can take you away from it before you're ready. See it all, over and over again, and appreciate it every day. Otherwise, you could become a whining mountain loving emo hippie bastard like me.....lol.

Are we there yet.....?

I'm starting to grow impatient. I've tried not to get here, but it's on a subconscious level at this point. I'm aggravated.

The studio is already 2 weeks behind schedule on it's construction. I've been told why, and I understand, but it doesn't aggravate me any less. There are clients left and right who want to continue work. It's very uncomfortable to work on an imac on a dresser in the corner of a bedroom with kids in the house. It's very quick headache material. But on the occasion that a client calls and wants an edit done that doesn't require my studio monitors (i.e. a splicing job), I can't tell them no just because I am not in an ideal work environment.

So I fight through the (literal) headaches that this not-ergonomically/not-acoustically-ideal-in-any-way set up brings with it to make sure the clients stay happy, and I don't mind doing it for the clients. My clients are awesome, and it's fun to work with them. But it also is really annoying on my side because my studio isn't done, and I'm forced to work in 9 square feet of space. This isn't the clients fault, and I'm not frustrated with the clients. I just want my promised studio to be finished already so I can get to living the American dream and what not.

When it IS finished, it's going to be an amazing thing to behold! It'll be meager compared to a lot of studios, but I'm a small business with a smaller budget and I see no point in going into debt to go into something that might fail. So in the interest of being fiscally responsible, I'm making sure I can afford what I'm moving into based on what I had coming in before the move.

What I had before the move was a house.

 

The control room was in a bedroom upstairs.

Before that, the control room was in the corner of a different bedroom. I had blankets on the walls because I didn't have a budget for acoustical treatment.

The live room was in the living room downstairs. This is the live room used by Enemy By Mourning, Liquid Ghandi, Project DIVIDE, Stimulus, Antiseptic Soul, and others.

Before that, the control room was in a bedroom in Conifer Colorado. I was not as good of an engineer then, and didn't really understand the need for acoustic treatment. My walls were bare. My computer was crap. It was very basic, and complicated to use.

But that was AFTER Bob Swanson helped me acquire some gear as a favor. Before that, I was so bare bones it wasn't funny!

So I'm very grateful for how much I've grown over 4 years, and how far I've come with my abilities. But still, the downtime is frustrating me and my clients. Work on Jovy's projects for F.R.O.E. Records can't continue till the studio is up. Work on Project DIVIDE can't continue till the studio is up. None of what I do can move forward until the studio is up and running…..

…..so I wait.

National Parks

Lotus and Celest, my daughters to be, were born on June 21st 14 years ago. Knowing how much I love to travel, Laura suggested that we take the girls on a vacation for their 14th birthday this year. It was decided that we would spend a few days and head to Washington D.C., stopping in Virginia to see Shenandoah National Park along the way.

The girls have never had a trip this long. Their autism can make traveling a little challenging. So this will be an experiment to see how well they do on a trip of this length. But the girls love going on trips, and can get quite excited by the anticipation of a trip. A few months ago, Laura wanted to take them to the Newport Aquarium. Celest begged for an entire weekend to go to the aquarium after hearing of the plan. When we arrived at the aquarium, Celest and Lotus were both ecstatic!

The chance to take the girls on their first long vacation makes me happy. The fact that we're essentially going on a giant National Park Service tour thrills me! If you read this blog, you know I love the parks. Before Laura, I'd been to Yellowstone, Grand Teton, Rocky Mountain, Arches, Grand Canyon, Cuyahoga Valley, and a few national historical sites and monuments. Since then, I've begun collecting parks with Laura. We've been to Cuyahoga Valley, and Great Smoky Mountains. We got engaged at Great Smoky Mountains N.P., and have been taking photos of ourselves by the entrance signs of the parks since then (even though we only have two parks under our belts).

So the chance to collect our third park together with the girls in tow, and see Shenandoah National Park as a family altogether for the first time, makes me quite happy. I plan to get a photo of us all together by the entrance sign if possible. We plan to head from Columbus to the southern end of Shenandoah N.P. From there, we'll drive through the park along Skyline Drive as well take in the views.

After that, we spend the night nearby before embarking to Washington D.C. the next day. Washington D.C. is a mecca of the park system, as the park system also includes many historical sites and monuments. Driving and walking tours of the nations capitol are in order, and many photos will be taken! I'm excited about Washington D.C., I've never been. I'm admittedly more excited about Shenandoah, but I've always wanted to go and see the national mall and the Lincoln Memorial.

About a week or two ago, Laura told Celest that we were going to go on vacation at the end of June. She told her we were going to Washington, and since then Celest has been yelling to go on vacation to Washington. I let it slip last week that we were also stopping at a national park, and this doubled her joy! She's been yelling for a national park all week, and for vacation! Every time she yells for a national park, I get a huge grin on my face.

I'll discuss the trip, including photos, when we return.