2011 is now a not so distant memory, and honestly I feel amazing after having turned to a new chapter in December. I'm starting to finally recognize myself again. It's been a long fight, filled with lots of whining emo moments and lots of bitching and moaning. Laura thinks I was depressed, in more than an "I'm Sad" sense, and I think she's right. But fortunately for me, I think that's well behind me at this point. I'm starting to feel like after crossing the threshold into 2012, I've wiped the slate clean and am starting a new year fresh and clean with lots of my old unwavering optimism. For the first time since 2010, I feel consistently good about the future.
What's weird though is how passing a date on a calendar can do that to a person like me. Laura thinks I fixate on dates based on events from my life, and again she's right. When I was a teen, every April 26th was the worst day of the year for me, cause that was another anniversary of mom's death. Being with Sarah for 12 years, dates on a calendar were a huge deal. Every year, the holidays were highly anticipated, as were birthdays and anniversaries.
But who cares?! It's a date on a calendar. A Calendar is a time management platform developed by man. Just because you pass the anniversary of something terrible doesn't mean that the terrible thing is going to happen again. It's just another day in the grand scheme of things. So why get all hung up on the date?
But I do. And now that I've passed into 2012, I feel almost new. I feel like it's all officially in the past and I can move on with my life and not let my past rule me.
It's a good feeling.
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