I had switched my computer's wallpaper to a picture of Olive as a puppy after hearing of her passing Saturday. Then, every time that I'd go back to my desktop it was like a punch in the chest.
I just decided that I needed to change it to something more uplifting. I chose a picture taken on the shores of Jackson Lake of The Tetons.
Just seeing this photo, and other photos of the mountains I've taken, instantly put my soul at ease. It almost has a rejuvenating effect just seeing them and knowing that I was there.
So now I reconsider the importance of making this Colorado trip in June happen. I'm not much of a spiritual person. It's not that I don't believe, I'm agnostic. But what I do believe in is the healing powers of nature on the soul, and now I'm feeling the urge to make this trip happen come hell or high water.
This might just be a pipe dream, but after falling in love with a landscape of such indescribable beauty, when that gets taken from you it's easy to obsess. I'm not moping and feeling sad, much like I was 6 months ago, but rather I'm feeling happy knowing that it's there and that I can go back there. Now I'm feeling that calling in my soul. I need it back, even if for a fleeting moment this summer.
More importantly in the immediate is the fact that just seeing these images reminds me of my goal. Now I'm reminded that beyond all the bullshit, I have a goal for my life. Now my resolve is strengthened, and right now I just wanna fight tooth and nail to get it back.
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