Stuck

I hate feeling stuck and helpless.

I hate the feeling when someone you love is suffering because of shit that someone else did to them, and knowing that no matter what you do, you aren't going to be able to stop that suffering. It's a useless feeling. But then, I also hate the questions that go with that. Do I reach out to the person, or give them space. Do I leave them be, or go try to comfort them and refuse to leave their side. What do I do? That's the question that's killing me today.

I would do anything for her, but I just don't know in what capacity I should be there for her right now. I don't know what to do. To stay in Marion and not go help her seems selfish, but I can't imagine what she's going through so I can't say that going to Reynoldsburg to be with her would be helpful. If it were me, would I want to be left alone, or would I want someone there? I can't imagine it being me because there's no way possible that I could put myself in the situation, hence I can't relate in any way. I can relate on the anger, and I can empathize on the pain and betrayal, but I can't truly know what she's going through. In a case like that, I can't put myself in her shoes to see what I would want, and act accordingly.

I'm in limbo.

The last thing I wanna do is make it about me, because it's a whole hell of a lot bigger than that. But this blog is where I turn to sort things out, hence this post. She knows I'm here for her in any capacity, and I've told her that nothing is an unreasonable demand right now. Logic is telling me to just stay put and be productive, but to also be available. My emotions are telling me to run to her and try to ease her pain.

Laura, I love you more than life itself. I'm here for you no matter what, through anything.

Oh, and yeah, I'm not mentioning what happened for a reason, k ;)